Fellow Hexbearians,

I was thinking about how embarrassing it is to ask questions about things that seem obvious, so why not make a thread here? We can pool our understanding and clear up any misconceptions we picked up living in a world not built for neurodiverse people.

Ask questions about things you don’t understand that might seem obvious. If there are things you do understand in someone else’s question, please do so and help clear it up.

I ask that we ask and answer questions sincerely. This is a discussion about confusion and trying to understand. I think it would feel safer if we don’t think we’re being mocked or trolled.

I’ll put a comment in the thread to get things rolling.

  • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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    10 months ago

    How easy is it for you to memorize quotes? I have such a hard time with it unless I read it and practice it.

    But I hear people all the time quote lines with the same inflection all the time. They don’t seem to type to read and study and I was wondering if that comes easy to people or if this is a skill issue on my part.

    The same applies for remembering several things at once like a shopping list

    • FishLake
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      10 months ago

      I believe most people do have to make a conscious effort to memorize something. Whether or not they care to get the exact wording or inflection right depends on how important it is to them. Of course some people are naturally gifted at things like this.

      I had a friend in college who could quote an entire movie almost verbatim after one drunken viewing. He also could never remember where he put his keys. Seriously one time he threw them away.

      • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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        10 months ago

        That’s interesting. I think I have a vibes-based memorizing style, if that makes sense. I can memorize a melody perfectly or summarize something I read or watch, but I can’t recall minute details.

        I guess it’s a prioritizing thing. I try to get the general idea and I try not to focus on details like precise wording.

    • Rojo27 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      I’ve always had a really hard time remembering song lyrics. So much so that whenever I’m asked about a favorite song people get annoyed at me for not remembering much. Remembering some lines from a movie or something I read tends to be easier for me so maybe it’s like a visual v. auditory memorization sort of thing.

        • FishLake
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          10 months ago

          Same. Probably because I have an undiagnosed hearing processing disorder. I can hear a pin drop three miles away but I can’t watch a Christopher Nolan movie without subtitles.

            • FishLake
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              10 months ago

              How in the world was I able to understand Bane perfectly? Like what the actual fuck?

              • blight [any]@hexbear.net
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                10 months ago

                If I had to guess, the effects they added to his voice actually make it easier to hear, if only because it can now penetrate the background noise

        • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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          10 months ago

          That’s interesting, I’m on the opposite end. I can give you a summary of the song and vibes and memorize the melody, but I can’t remember exact words to save my life

      • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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        10 months ago

        I think it’s an auditory issue for me too. I can read things and recite, but I can never hear song lyrics on the first go around of just listening. I have to read the lyrics later to understand what they’re about.

    • Comp4 [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      Im pretty good with quotes if I enjoy the source material. Mind you I talk with myself and repeat the things I want to say and how I want to say them. I often plan my day/weeks outloud. Or I prep that way for talking with people about certain topics.

      If I need to buy many things like at a supermarket for dinner for example I simply make a physical shopping list before I go shopping. That way I dont forget anything.

      No idea how people remember stuff that isnt “important to them” though im with you on that. Like I have a ton of knowledge about things I care about. But If Im not invested in something I find it busywork to remember stuff as well.

      • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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        10 months ago

        It’s funny, I don’t talk out loud a lot because I grew up with eavesdroppers. I’ve considered doing it to practice what I’m going to say or to plan things out. I listen to audiobooks more than read, so maybe it’ll help me figure out how to sort some stuff.

        And I guess shopping lists are fine. I just sometimes see movies where characters memorize crazy minute details. I know it’s fiction, but I never know a good baseline.

        But If Im not invested in something I find it busywork to remember stuff as well.

        Me when someone wants to play another new boardgame with complicated rules only once.

    • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      I’m pretty bad, I will grab the gist of a quote, but I can literally look at a page and then go to write it down, and my brain has already replaced/substituted similar words in places. I gotta work hard to get the wording down.

  • Comp4 [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    Im really fucking bad at going to bed at a reasonable time. Like there are days where I pull an allnighter go to work without sleep and then after work just crash sleep / work. etc. Trying to fix it but im bad at it.

    Now to be fair years ago im pretty sure my schizophrenia impacted my sleep but I got that kind of under control these days. (The schizophrenia I mean my sleep is still a fuck)

    • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      There are many things that can screw up a sleep schedule. Here are some things that might help:

      • No screens an hour before you want to sleep.
      • Do very little in bed aside from sleeping. Avoid phones, reading, watching TV, etc. This helps build up a psychological association between bed and sleep.
      • If you have the option, enforce your sleep schedule at other opportunities. Wake up at the same time regardless. Avoid naps. Only if you have this option though.
      • Do some exercise a bit before bed. Maybe some light yoga. If this makes you sleepy right away, do it just before bed. If this energizes you at first, do it an hour or two before bed.
      • Limit lights at night in general (use blackout blinds).
      • Light in the morning. There are cheap SAD lamps that can mimic the sun and turn on automatically in the morning.
      • Occasionally, as needed, have a melatonin an hour or two before bed. It will make you sleepy. If you have it too often, your body will adjust to needing it in order to fall asleep. Once every two weeks might be a good goal.
      • Allow yourself two weeks to adjust to your attempted schedule. Your body will mess with you for a while even if you’re doing everything well and even if it eventually works.
    • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      it’s no silver bullet, but there are programmes that will colour shift your screens to red at a set time. The idea is to mimic sunsets, as bright blue lights have been shown to keep people awake longer. Pretty sure it’s built into most Linux distros these days, and Windows has it hidden somewhere in its settings. I’m not quite as sure about phones, might be worth poking around internal settings or googling “your phone model + blue light filter”

    • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      I’m so bad at a sleep schedule, but I think it’s a trauma/anxiety thing for me. I’ve done the all-nighter when I realized I wouldn’t get to sleep on time.

      I don’t know how to improve a sleep routine and the guides I’ve seen were hard to stick to

    • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      i find chamomile tea helps, usually after sunset and/or an hour or so before I actually want to wrap up and go to bed

      when i run out of chamomile, i just drink a mug of hot water.

    • GinAndJuche@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      magnesium supplements induces verymild drowsiness and it helps with your magnesium levels.

      It won’t put you out, but it helps a tiny bit without creating new problems (like melatonin, I’m dependent on it currently and it sucks.)