this girl that in knew in highscool as a white libertarian gay guy is now a liberal bisexual trans women. we love to see it, of course. so she reaches out to me to apologized to all the shitty sometimes racist shit she said in highschool that led to us no longer being friends. i say yeah 100% forgiven lets catch up. so we do and we end up chatting for like a year, we get close, she send me update pics of her boob development and pics of her gf, i share my poetry, its nice.until one day while talking about what defines us and she says something like “humanist, pagan woman” and im like cool i would say i think of myself in my own mind foremost as a black nonbinary communist, i also said being a black and communist were the two things i loved to most about me. she takes a long pause and basically tells me i "put too much stock into labels, and that im negatively reminding her of some poc communist friend she has thats “too aggressive” and “denies the genocide of ukrainans” and im "being held back by thinking of everything through race. for context this girl has made being a transwomen a huge part of her personality, constantly complaining about the cis (hell yeah) she talks about being a transwomen and autistic every conversation and i think thats awesome and cool. but apparently i cant talk about being black or a communist. FURTHER CONTEXT one of the reason we originally stopped being friends was in part because she tried to tell me not too identify as black because “were just people labels are reductive”. i gave a bs excuse about why i dont want to be friends anymore but yeah i was thinking about it today and just wanted to vent. it was a while ago but it still sucks.

i feel like this is a thing with white queers in general, especcialy if they had a “conservative phase”

and before someone asked why i was friends with a libertarian in high school the answer is i loved arguing and she would threaten mean boys for me.

  • Othello [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
    54·
    1 year ago

    bonus story she was one of those “racial preferences isnt racists” and “i would NEVER date a BLACK person” and “attraction is BIOLOGICAL”

      • Othello [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
        23·
        1 year ago

        god no, that was the reason i stopped being friends with her in the first place! i told her it was racist at the time dont worry, and i used to enjoy arguing (i thought it made me smarter). our friendship was mostly held together by the fact our 4th period class ran out of funding and a teacher for a year so we just sat in a room with nothing to do for a year.

    • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      12·
      1 year ago

      Why would you ever be friends with someone like that? I would not be friends with anyone my age who thinks like this and I’m white.

      I would comment more about how what this ex friend is saying throughout their post is complete nonsense, but I’m sure you know that already and this is the POC community so I’ll shut up in accordance with rule 2, and you’ll get a better perspective from fellow POC users.

      • Othello [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
        29·
        1 year ago

        i went to an arts schools where half of the white kids said the n word and had confederate flags, where teachers had the confederate flag where one black kid had a confederate flag and multiple black kids defended the confederate flag if this gives you an idea of the environs. when i was a teenager i though all white people were racist by default, i fully did not believe non racist white people existed and that you just had to accept this to live, and i had black friends at that school and we all hung out after/before school and did each others hair but i had plenty of classes where i was the only black person. also in this incident it was me vs the entire group of like 5 people most of which were hispanic. like i was the freak social justice warrior already at my school for saying white people couldnt say the n word (plenty of the black kids at my schoolgave them permission). i had new a kid who told me i was the first black person he ever liked and was scared of other black people and when i got upset 4 other kids told me “its not his fault” and called me ignorant. i have a 1000 other stories, a girl got bullied out of school for a week for quoting mlk on riots (someone make an Instagram to harass her). i know no one believes how racist my school was when i talk about it but idk thats the reality.

        edit i know all lots of those bootlicker black kids and they have ALL done a 360 since leaving high school, posting about anti racism and whatnot. we had a super racist principal who would give speeches about avoiding ‘STREET KIDS’.