Its just so exhausting and upsetting.
excerpt from a conversation from yesterday (CW transphobia)
Transphobe 1: its too tall!
Transphobe 2: what is?
Transphobe 1 gestures at me
Transphobe 1: that thing
The conversation continued with additional transphobia.
And like i get it okay, im not a person, not even a human, but can we just skip the whole conversation? Or is the whole dehumanization and inflicting pain thing the enjoyable part?
I guess a positive is that it shows who the fake and fairweather allies are, like i was surrounded by people i thought were allies but no one said a damn thing. It was transphobe 2 that actually called out his friend cause ‘you just cant say that stuff anymore’ 🙄. Transphobe 1 proceeded to try and defend his actions by claiming he was using gender neutral language cause he didnt know how to gender me. Like, no motherfucker you fucking werent! Gender neutral language isnt dehumanizing language! Now i get to go organize an event with these same “allies” who said nothing. I demand that you shoot me now, so i dont have to do this.
Im not sure why im so upset about this. Its not that bad, really just par for the course. Not like he was beating me or anything. And allies should be assumed to be false unless otherwise proven. Its just so tiring. So damn exhausting.
Thanks for listening to me
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Me talking to an acquaintance from organizing I haven’t talked to in over a year
them: Hi deadname
me: oh it’s newname now, I’m using she/her now
them: deadname, newname what’s the difference right?
me:
As a great amab (assigned-male-at-booting) robot once said, “One is my name, the other is not.”
Reminds me of how my gf’s dad once told her he was gonna nickname her her deadname so he could continue calling her that. As a funny joke that he also would 100% have actually done if there hadn’t been pushback
Sis, I’d walk tf out on that organization that day. I don’t even tolerate microaggression out of so-called comrades-- that’s that full-on macro cracker shit.
Ok so like the transphobes were tech people at the location we were organizing at, so not part of the org. But i am considering just dropping the whole org cause people didnt say shit. Like seriously fuck them.
There was a phrase used before in queer rights and I think it needs to make a comeback because trying to constantly justify your existance is fucking exahusting and I can’t believe we’re back here again. This country just doesn’t learn.
We’re here. We’re queer. Get used to it.
What the actual fuck. Can’t believe people are so full of hate.
lady if i heard that shit being said about my friends id go rabid and start ripping throats out with my teeth. these “allies” are too busy holding their heads under water
Theyd rather drown than stick their neck out. Like, at least transphobe #2 was shutting stuff down, even if it was only out of recognition that its “no longer socially acceptable” or whatever. I guess im also just like having to reorient my understanding of the people who were there, which is dissapointing af.
Thank you for the trans heart <3
Who the fuck gets to decide if someone is “too tall”??
Frame carpenters installing doorframes.
THAT IS…technically correct, thank you.
Assholes building showers that only come up to my neck
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the formal transphobia also sucks, too
He gets paid so that’s professional transphobia
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Ugh, that is shit. Not a surprise that dealing with such shittery is exhausting, do take care
nobody has ever said “my pronoun is it.”
in any case,
to break rocks until they die.There are several folks out there who prefer “it/its”. Most famously, maya arson crimew (it/she).
Though obviously the example in the post was done maliciously.
Based af hacker maya? with the holy bingle?
Correct
There are several folks out there who prefer “it/its”. Most famously, maya arson crimew (it/she).
interesting, i did not know that. “it” just seems dehumanizing inherently. I felt like “it” is like calling someone furniture instead of a person, but hey if they want that then they should get that.
Okay now I’m wiki diving and apparently the old English neuter that “it” came from was “hit/him/his”, and was applicable to people and objects.
Sickos [they/hit/him] is a full sentence in modern English and that rocks.
Also like the idea of [it/that] pronouns just because English deserves to be tortured.
One of my gfs uses it/its for very similar reasons to why I use ze/hir. There’s a school of thought I don’t 100% subscribe to but I am sympathetic to (in part because it matches my own feelings for my gender, personally) that Man and Woman are hegemonic concepts oriented primarily around a very specific view of social and biological reproduction, and that even cis queers aren’t really men and women in that sense. Using it/its (and to a lesser degree ze/hir) is kind of like saying “you know what, you’re right, I’m not actually a woman by your definition, and that’s a good thing.” Bigots love to degender as a way to dehumanize (in the way that they will call us men but clearly don’t actually think of us as men or women), and we lean in and say “this is better actually”.
Tbc I think “no fuck you I am actually a woman and every time you complain I become 10% more woman” is also a totally valid response to that degendering and dehumanization, this isn’t a grand statement so much as what some of us vibe with personally
at least for me the dehumanization is kind of the point, we use ‘it’ for animals too, but only for the disposable ones. cis ppl will apologize for misgendering a dog and then turn around and use the same language for a trans person that they would for a pest.
i don’t like that it’s as simple as “dehumanizing” to take away your consideration for someone, like maybe if being other than human weren’t a license to be treated with cruelty and disregard it wouldn’t be as easy to deny empathy just for being different.
i’ll use it/its out of solidarity with everyone and everything that doesn’t get to be a person, and bc i still have that privilege (usually) but i’d rather it not be a privilege at all.
also anecdotally as a trans woman saying she/it is a great way to not get passively aggressively they/them-ed and “that person”-ed
When I met someone with it pronouns, I had a similar reactor initially. It felt weird for the reason you said, like I was lowering it to an object. On further reflection, I think the part of the reason I felt like that was inherently insulting was because I (and most of us) grew up in a consumer economy inundated with the idea that individual objects are unspecial, replacable, and unworthy of respect or sentimentality. I’ve since grown more love and respect for my objects, and for the thought and labor that went into their creation.
Fuck it, I’m adding “it” now. Though “[they/them, eldritch/horror]” would be better.
Mods, I demand Sickos [eldritch/horror, beyond/comprehension]
I wish William Gibson had not appropriated the term Loa for his sentient AI gods, if would feel dirty and disrespectful to identify as one, but the concept as presented in his novels would be an excellent way for one’s hexsona to be perceived.
Even moreso for our blessed bot accounts.
My train of thought tangent here expressing a desire for dehumanization is actually pretty rude given the post context, so I’m gonna shut the hell up now and take this to the mega.
@lilypad@hexbear.net you deserve better, I’m sure you are a lovely human, transphobes can eat a bag of dicks.
Culture Minds and drones use it pronouns (in english, Marain doesn’t have gendered pronouns at all)
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i was saying gulag for being obvious assholes
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u gud
Not like he was beating me or anything
The worse someone is treated, the less likely they are to validate their own feelings surrounding that treatment. Meanwhile, validating your own experiences is such a big part of what being trans is about. You got shit on for no fucking reason and that sucks. You’re allowed to be hurt by that.
Thank you. Im… Not good at validating my feelings… Its good to be reminded that they are indeed valid.
“You can’t say that anymore!”
Every time someone does, the entire human race applauds them for their bravery of punching down at the punching bag du jour. Antifa has the courage to stand up to nazis and is demonized for it. Just goes to show the hypocrisy of hellworld.
EDIT: Removed reference to “sacred cow” as a figure of speech.
Hey could you edit out the reference to Hinduism? The rest of your comment is good, but I don’t think it’s good to call out Hindus this way. Edit: spelling
Oh, gotcha. Sorry about that.
Thanks!
Fuck transphobia. You deserve better.
Casual transphobia Friday
