I feel so fucking lost. It’s like I am just waiting for the end. I got no one and nothing to live for. I am going out and trying different things. But, nothing is sticking. At the end of the day, I feel like just another lonely ass with nothing to live for.
I feel like I am missing something fundamental for having a will to live.
Well here’s a really fucked up question. It was posed to me when I was in the clinic many years ago: “do you want to feel better?”
I was furious about that, because of course I did, right? But the more I think about it, the more I think that it was warranted. I think maybe I didn’t want to feel better. I was “comfortable” in my suffering. I had made it a central part of who I am. So if I’d changed and be “happy”, who am I? If “feeling like shit” is what you define yourself with, you won’t want to change.
But first things first: I highly encourage you to seek out professional help to stabilise you. You need supervision.
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