yeah the ‘go make your own org’ thing can often come off like ‘if you hate your job just get a new one’. it gets recommended a lot and while i think it’s important to encourage and empower people, it’s a very tough load to carry if you don’t even have enough people for a tiny local affinity group. like, i’m trying to set up a very small neighbourhood project and it’s taking ridiculously long because it’s literally just me trying to scrape together enough stuff to get it going and missing meals so i can get supplies for it. but once it’s set up i think people will help out so i’m running on optimism in the meantime!

with the guy in question, the main example was his repeated habit of suddenly dropping multiple images/videos of graphic violence (including deaths) into the chat group, then immediately logging off for a few hours. no content warning, no context, no discussion, nothing. a lot of the time he did not seem to know which country or city the images were from, yet when asked why he posted them he would say “people need to be aware of what is happening”.

i often ended up tracking down sources and finding groups we could offer support to, so people weren’t just left in a state of despair. i politely suggested that we can perhaps share links instead of bombarding raw nsfw/nsfl imagery, and add content warnings so people can make an informed decision on whether they were up to seeing those things. i even provided guidelines that journalists who regularly handle those kinds of imagery use, so people could see an evidence-based approach that could easily be applied. and i’d get a shrug in return, and/or private messages from others going “i don’t like it either but that’s just how he is”.

he also told me i was being performative for using indigenous language. i’m indigenous, so that didn’t go over too well. and yet again, nobody backed me up. that was when i finally decided to bid the org farewell.

my suspicion is that this group had become overly fixated on trying to get its numbers back up after a hiatus, and was willing to overlook a degree of crummy behaviour in order to retain someone who was determined, enthusiastic, and clearly enjoyed being active both online and on the ground. sadly i don’t think they understood enabling that degree of crummy behaviour would drive away people who also shared those positive qualities. nobody will be a perfect little angel all the time (self included!), especially when there’s stress and strong personalities and passionate feelings happening, but we don’t have to meekly accept unhealthy levels of asshattery either.

and i hope the situation in your workplace improves sooner rather than later!