I just can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t go back to repressing wanting it. I used to think it was pointless because it wouldn’t feminize me enough to make a difference and at this point, that thought doesn’t even dissuade me.
My partner’s been so great and supportive but she’s not into femme people, so we’d end up just being platonic coparents. She’s my best friend and I’m not brave enough to tell her but it’s also not fair to keep from her.
I just feel like I lose no matter what. Every option involves hurting my best friend. It’s just not fair to anyone involved.
I’m sorry, that is a really tough situation. It’s really common to feel that way and have that fear, and being 100% honest it can go either way, including the way you’re (100% legitimately) afraid of. It’s one of the things that exemplifies the inherent bravery of trans people, as well as the challenges of being trans.
Solidarity! Things will work out, even if there ends up being pain on the way there.