Telling someone they are using a slur and they should do better is just straight up “fact”. Making mistakes is life. Learning from those mistakes and doing better is how you at least attempt to be a good person.

Again, if your issue that has led you to attempt to tone police me is that I told someone to do better: If they genuinely meant no offense (and the OP has made it clear they give zero shits about offending anyone…) then they say “oh shit, sorry”. Simple as that.

And if the only way to get someone to not use slurs and ableist language is to give them a hug and tell them they are a good person? Then clearly they are okay hurting others because somebody didn’t show them the proper deference. And… fuck 'em. They are bigots and bigots deserve no respect.

And it isn’t about “undoing” what people say (although, this is a message board and there is an edit button…). It is about saying “Shit, sorry” and resolving to do better.

For example: Apologies to all the Romani folk out there (and I think it is also used to refer to irish Travellers sometime?), but I and most kids would use the phrase “jipped” which is based on “gyped” which is short for “gypsies” which is a slur for those groups. Funny enough, a lot of us learned that was not cool from an episode of House MD. And we didn’t need to be told “You are good people and we love you but…” any more than we needed to be told that House is a great guy who is not at all racist even though he is being intentionally inflammatory so that Hot Doctor can pull a tick out a vagina or whatever was going on in that episode. It was “… wait, that is a slur? Oh shit. I better not use that anymore”