Be China

British, French, and other European empires invade, make your weak and cowardly monarchy into a puppet, force opium upon the entire population turning them to addicts, and becoming literal slaves to the West.

Repeated attempts by the Chinese to fight off this oppression result in hostility and brutality and massacres from the invading empires, and brutal crackdowns on the opium addled population.

British decide that they need a more prominent port city, to maintain naval presence, but more importantly to steal China’s labour and resources.

British decide that Hong Kong belongs to them now, and that they will rule over it. China protests, and manages to negotiate England into a “99 year lease” for Hong Kong, despite this awful situation being literally forced upon them at gunpoint.

China under Mao manage to fight back the west and western-allied governments, providing a liberation from the yoke of imperialism, and allowing China to have autonomy and self-determination of a nation once again.

China has literally millions of soldiers ready to march, could send them all into Hong Kong and take their city back by force at any time, the same way it was taken from them.

Instead, China fully agrees to play by the rules. It was a 99 year lease - so they let the British continue to lease it for the remainder of those 99 years.

During this century of wealth extraction from mainland China, and using Hong Kong as a British port to facilitate this has grown the wealth of Hong Kong with the trade and tariff of the stolen assets of mainland China.

Hong Kong citizens have been re-trained and re-educated in a British imperial system, and now make up a much wealthier strata than mainland Chinese, forming a middle management and heavily fictionalized sector.

99 year lease finally ends. China says, “Okay, we played by all the rules, even through they were nonsense and forced upon us at gunpoint - we played by them anyway. Now we do not wish to continue this lease, and would like our city back.”

British throw in phony last minute elections during the final moments before the lease officially ends. “BuT yOU wIlL bE rUiNInG HoNG kOnG deMoCRaCy!!”

China officially gets their city back, despite the whining and flailing and crying and complaining of the insufferable British Empire.

China realizes that Hong Kong is operating under a very different political system. Rather than bring in the mainland China political system - which they have every right to do - the same rules that apply to Beijing citizens or Chengdu citizens should apply to all Chinese, including Hong Kong.

But the Chinese government decides to be totally reasonable and install the “two systems, one country” to allow Hong Kong to keep many of their British-imposed traditions and customs.

China finally says “great, now our Chinese citizens can return to our city of Hong Kong and live there.” Mainland Chinese begin to move to live in Hong Kong.

Much wealthier Hong Kong class repulsed by this influx of much poorer, much less wealthy, filthy mainland population coming to take their jobs and bring Chinese traditions back to the Chinese city.

Chinese taxes are considerably higher on the mainland than on Hong Kong. China plans to take part of the plundered wealth and assets of rich Hong Kongers and use it to improve conditions and lives of poorest people on the mainland (remember that China is the world leader in ending poverty).

Hong Kongers see poor immigrants and higher taxes and start freaking out.

A rich multi-millionaire literally murders his girlfriend, and flees the country. Protesters come out of the woodwork en masse in Hong Kong in support of the murdering multi-millionaire!

The West sees their opportunity. Sends government specialists, agents, media crews to Hong Kong. Brings in Hong Kong pro-murderer protest leaders for training. Supplies protesters and encourages them to take the streets and escalate the situation.

Western News Media: “ChIna iS oPprESsiNg HonG koNg!!!”

China sighs, “How the fuck is anyone falling for this bullshit.”


Credit to /u/DashRendar


I feel like posting this in every pro-Hong Kong protester thread. It’s so obvious that this manufactured outrage only helps western imperialism. The protesters aren’t socialist in any conceivable way. They’re waving the British and American flags, and asking foreign governments to invade.

Reddit Good Post Archive

    Archiving good Reddit posts in case of censorship.

    • 0 users online
    • 0 users / day
    • 0 users / week
    • 0 users / month
    • 3 users / 6 months
    • 103 subscribers
    • 20 Posts
    • Meta
    • Modlog