• loobkoob@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    43
    ·
    7 months ago

    My usual go-to is to ask what their latest/current obsession is. It works really well for a few reasons:

    • it’s nice and simple to ask - it doesn’t require a monologue/wall of text to set up, and it doesn’t require you to know anything about them to ask it;
    • it’s both as personal and as low-stakes as they want it to be. They can give very intimate, in-depth answers if they feel like it, or they can just mention something like the latest film they enjoyed. There’s no risk of making them uncomfortable by asking it;
    • it lets you filter out boring people who don’t really take interest in anything;
    • assuming they do have interests, it often gives you plenty of opportunities to dive into deeper conversation;
    • it’s often engaging for them because they get to talk about something they’re passionate about;
    • it’s often interesting for you because people talking about things they’re passionate about is awesome (and often attractive).
    • it’s pretty much always relevant and fresh because their latest obsession will change over time. This makes it particularly great for things like dating sites/apps because people’s bios will often be out of date and/or they’ll have talked about the things mentioned in their bio so much that they’re kind of sick of them.

    I’ve actually had multiple people on dating sites tell me how great a question they think it is, and that they’re going to use it themselves in the future. So obviously it’s not just me who thinks it’s a great question!

    • urshanabi [he/they]
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      7 months ago

      I sometimes ask what has been keeping them busy, usually like that, I find it doesn’t work. What sort of phrasing do you use? Or is what I asking like really different from what you are referring to?

      • ElTacoEsMiPastor@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        7 months ago

        Pretty different, I’d consider it. Something may keep me busy, while not being passionate about it.

        I (body) am normally busy bc of work-related shenanigans, but I (mind) am obsessed with the latest game installed on my PC.

    • lucullus@discuss.tchncs.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      That sounds really cool.

      @fellow_germans: How can I express this in german? The literal translation “Was ist deine aktuelle Obzession?” doesn’t sound right, because of the different meanings of obsession. Maybe “Welches Thema beschäftigt dich gerade?”, though this also doesn’t seem to have the correct ring to it.