I understand right where you’re at. Before I got deep into my alcoholism I was a chronic daily MJ user for years. I’d smoke at least 3+ grams a day just to myself. It killed my drive to do anything constructive and even for things that were fun. I too, also started getting anxiety and was experiencing depersonalization/derealization which made the world weird and unsettling and gave me this overwhelming sense of approaching doom the majority of the time while high. It wasn’t until my fiance passed that I finally lost my predelection for pot, it just gave me too much anxiety, especially on top of the grief I was already going through.

I’m glad you found us here. It’s not always easy but it gets easier and you’ll thank yourself for quitting down the line. Right now just yake it a day and step at a time, sometimes a moment at a time is how granular we have to get. However, if you’re truly commited and honest with yourself and give yourself patience and grace, you’ll make great strides.

It’s good to have you here. I pray for many good days ahead for you.