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Cake day: June 18th, 2023

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  • I’ve come across a segment of society which seems to believe that men don’t feel emotions in the same way as women, that they should be tough - not cry, ‘be a man’, ‘man up’.

    My belief is that a number of men in society are psychologically scarred by regressive beliefs like these and would hazard a guess that these beliefs contribute towards loneliness and suicide. I also believe that it’s a big driver of things like the red pill movement.

    Now you might say that this is a feminist issue, in that it’s the result of outmoded gender stereotypes (which probably have a negative impact on women too), and I would broadly agree with you. But until we allow men to come out and say “I suffer too from sexism” I don’t see how we can move past it.


  • Thanks for your comment, it’s certainly one of the better considered ones in this thread!

    There are many points of similarity and difference between the various forms of prejudice. And one of the things that makes sexism unique is that prejudice against women inevitably creates a mirror prejudice about (if not intentionally against) men. If being feminine means having emotions other than rage, men are allowed to experience only rage. If being feminine means caring for others, men are not allowed to care for (or about) others.

    How do we distinguish between legitimate grievances that men may have and the more reactionary/politically divisive. Whenever I hear the above argument, it strikes me as dismissive of legitimate issues and it feels dismissive of my experiences.

    In order to affect real change, do we not need to move past dismissing the problems raised by one gender? Isn’t it more likely that we change people’s behaviour by acceptance of their viewpoint rather than telling them they’re just being difficult?

    feminism is fundamentally as important for men as it is for women and the issues facing men exist precisely because of the history of subjugating women

    I agree with you here, but I think it’s also important to take note of the fact that feminism is a fairly broad church so the idea that there is one ‘feminist perspective’ which cares about men too is, to my mind, undermined by the negation of the importance of men’s issues I commonly see.