I’m glad to see the Yankees lose, I hate them the most. It’s a shame that it was to the Dodgers, who I hate the second most.

Literally any other combination of teams from this year’s playoff field would’ve been one I would be happy to watch. Especially if we’d had Cleveland from the AL (longest title drought in the AL playoffs) and either San Diego or Milwaukee from the NL (never won a WS).

I can’t even take joy from Ohtani winning a WS, because of who he won with.

Instead we got the two teams with the most arrogant and entitled fanbases in the sport, so I’ve been watching Schitt’s Creek instead.

Hopefully they find a local buyer with a minimal amount of drama and stupidity

Apology was for people offended by an aquarium using teen slang to connect with today’s youth.

Nandor the Relentless agrees with you

This looks like a table read for a Game of Thrones episode. I’m curious about which one it is.

I stuck my dick in crazy.

Life pro tip: don’t stick your dick in crazy. Just avoid crazy altogether.

In my defense, I was 20, she was the first person I ever had sex with, and I was too horribly depressed to recognize what a bad idea it was.

The Wire

The Sopranos

Deadwood

Justified

Bosch

If you’re open to comedic stuff:

What We Do In The Shadows

Resident Alien

Miracle Workers

Don’t rawdog a rando

Wearing a rubber every time unless you’re in a committed relationship greatly reduces your chances of an STD or an unwanted pregnancy.

Cheese pizza is probably one way to get yourself banned (at a minimum)

Was not expecting the middle school nostalgia feels from 4 non blondes

In my defense, I’m half asleep, and due to lack of caffeine, didn’t notice the bit about “which could actually happen in the next 5 years.”

So with that in mind, I’ll say something about environmentally friendly raw materials for super efficient battery storage.

Star Trek-style matter replicator/recycler. Just imagine being able to empty a garbage dumpster into a bin, shut the lid, press a button, and an hour later you get stacks of industrially useful metals & materials, bolts of cloth, and sacks of fertilizer.

Depending on the day, my favorite movie is either The Big Lebowski, Hot Fuzz, or Knives Out.

9 or 12 because TNG is the Star Trek series that I’ve seen the most of.

Nice. I also noticed Cranberry-Lemon U instead of the real-life Carnegie-Mellon U in the PGH.

Let’s just hope Randy Marsh doesn’t go fuck a pangolin again

Late fall - gets cool enough at night that I sleep really well, without being so cold throughout the day that my toes get cold.

Depends on my mood. If I’m feeling good I’m usually pretty nice, but if I’m hangry then I get not-nice.

Taylor Swift. She’s cute I guess but her music is the audio equivalent of a lukewarm stale glass of milk.

Same. Keeping the details purposefully vague even though the statute of limitations has long since expired.

I was out with friends having fun and actually stayed at the bar until they turned on the lights at closing and kicked us all out. I knew I was drunk but figured I should hit up the Taco Bell on the other side of the parking lot and eat in my car. Surely that would soak up enough alcohol to sober me up, right? I recall taking the most direct route possible to get back home, keeping my speed just below the limit. No cruise control so I had to focus as much as possible when it’s late, you’re tired and drunk and have a stomach full of grease.

The middle portion of the drive home was on a single long major arterial surface street. Luckily there weren’t any red lights since I doubt I could’ve stopped in time. The most terrifying moment was when I saw a cop car approaching me from behind. As I had a mild panic attack, he passed me up, didn’t turn on his lights, and went about his evening.

The rest of the trip home was uneventful. I got home safely, swore to myself I’d never be that stupid again, went to bed, and woke up the next morning probably still reeking of cigarette smoke and booze.

This is the single thing I am most ashamed of that I’ve ever done in my entire life. It’s more shameful than the time I lost my cool and shouted the n word at a kid when we were in middle school. It’s more shameful than the time I walked around high school with an unknown to me giant rip in my pants that let everyone see my sponge bob undies. It’s more shameful than when my dad caught me beating my meat to a Runner’s World magazine because I couldn’t find a Playboy.

I am very lucky that the cop just passed me by. I am very lucky that I didn’t have to drunk call my family at 4am to come bail me out of jail. I am very very lucky that I didn’t hurt myself or someone else.

True to my word, I’ve never done it again. I don’t drink at all any more, and even when I still did, I had a very strict two drink limit for myself if I was driving.

I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned this when I’ve been in therapy. I’ve been in a relationship for over a decade and I’ve never even told my partner about it.

So yeah Lemmy. Learn from my mistake. Please. If you plan to get fucked up, have a safe ride home that doesn’t involve you driving.