other_platypus [she/her, pup/pup's]

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Joined 10 months ago
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Cake day: April 7th, 2025

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  • learning rust has been such a wild ride, at first it was “oh cool cargo is neat” and “oh I can make games with this” and then it became “wtf is a borrow checker or an elided lifetime” and now I’ve discovered profiling and benchmarking and wondering why the flamegraph doesn’t go deep enough to see why my functions that are being called 100 times in a single frame are taking 5ms each.

    Its been years since I’ve worked with truly hot code, so I’m out of practice, and I’ve never done it with rust before, so it’s a lot of learning and scratching my head about the different tools. Like, it looks like tracy will only measure spans you declare yourself, cargo flamegraph will only go so deep for some reason, maybe there’s other ones that can tell me why this stuff is taking so long. And every time I use a different tool I need to recompile all 488 dependencies lol yay

    There’s a Rust performance book which has been helpful, but it’s not intuitive for me to look at a complex function and say “oh yes this will be slow because of X”



  • I’ve been reading Devon Price’s “Laziness Does Not Exist” and it has been challenging and life changing. I am now refusing to feel guilty for taking breaks at work, even hours at a time, for feeling like if I’m not moving my mouse I’m not being productive, and for blaming myself when solutions don’t appear in front of my face when I want them to.

    It helps that work has been unbelievably dysfunctional the past month or so (before that too, but there’s definitely been a recent rampup), since it pushed me to the point where something needed to change.

    details about that

    Today, I am quiet quitting for the day. I have a meeting that is possibly going to devolve into people being very angry at me for decisions made and poorly communicated by other people, who should be the ones making decisions, and who are on vacation. 4 days from a massive release and I’m still fighting with people over the stupidest shit and they all think they are in charge. My boss is beyond useless and is one of the people throwing a tantrum at me, but these aren’t my decisions, I’m just implementing them.

    I feel like at this point I am a lightning rod for all of these bad decisions and that everyone is taking it out on me. I can’t help but think that they all think they’re smarter than me and would have totally done things differently in my place. It’s not fair to me and no amount of money is worth this kind of mistreatment.

    I hope I get laid off, maybe I’ll get decent severance, but since it’s possible everyone is turning on me, it sounds like maybe I’ll get fired instead. Either way, it’s not worth my physical or mental health, so I’m trying my best to not push beyond my capacity.





  • i think it took me a while to come to the same conclusion, last project i worked on (for learning) was a zelda: link to the past clone and i grabbed one of the alt-character sprite sheets from lttp randomizer (which are compatible with the base game) to work from from that, which saved a lot of time for learning and was at least a little fun for the slog that was the entirely random (to me) indexing of the sprite sheets and building framed animation.

    some of the free assets i’ve found online are missing core things (like tilesets that can only make the example image and are missing corners/etc for anything else), or not aligned or sized correctly for actual gamedev, and since i’d never release with a free asset pack anyway i ended up just grabbing files from some other game a couple times for reference as its all placeholder anyway.

    fun fact i learned last week: the grass_block texture in minecraft is uncoloured but there’s a wiki page on the colour values per-biome you can use (although i ripped from the jar file, apparently the textures are also on github, intended for modders, maybe the grass is pre-coloured there), if you are crazy like me and want to trace the entirety of minecraft to learn about deterministic noise-based generation and all of the performance challenges that come from generating, rendering, and lighting voxel worlds.

    of course, my dream would be to do it all myself from scratch, or split the work with someone i trust, but maybe a year from now i’ll be releasing games with synty packs or w/e, if indeed i ever release anything at all.


  • People online talk about how trying to get seen by “the algorithm” is like trying to get a win out of a slot machine.

    It’s easy to be negative about creating art of any kind, especially lately, but I feel more compelled to create than ever. Either we lose art as a medium to slop generators or we fight back and prove intentionality matters and that we can change people’s views and perspectives through art.

    An image is much more than an 18 word prompt, heck I would argue it’s much more than even 1000 words. It’s a series of hundreds or thousands of small decisions made with intentionality and skill behind them.

    Making a platformer with some tilesets you can get online is relatively easy, but making a player feel like they’re visiting a different world, tuning the controls so it “feels good” but also is unique, music and sound design that fits and builds a through line through the world, reusing themes, motifs, and instrumentation to connect it all together? All of that requires intentionality and cohesion that you can’t get out of a slop generator or an asset pack, and even if you could, you don’t get the source files or the understanding of the underlying systems that is required to tweak or to fill gaps.

    I’ve been programming my whole life, I started by creating bots and chat apps with network protocols, and moved on to working with whatever free game engines I could find. I’ve never been able to finish anything worth releasing because I didn’t have that burning desire to keep going when, for instance, I had to write my own damn mouse picking algorithm (curse you, random dll files I found on the internet). I also never really believed I had anything worth saying or that my ideas had any merit whatsoever. I still don’t really believe that, but I am learning anyway. Maybe one day I’ll move from learning by copying to creating something that feels original and worth sharing.