My coworker had a full hysterectomy in her late 30s for the same reason and she’s described it as basically a living hell for about a year. Just a complete nightmare where she felt like her body completely turned on her and she had no control over anything it was doing - hearing about it made my attitude about keeping my ovaries much more enthusiastic. BUT she was pretty much fully through menopause after that year, so the good news is that your wife’s situation is likely pretty temporary. The bad news is that a year can feel like much longer when things aren’t going well, and I’m guessing she can’t do any hormone replacement to ease her symptoms because of the cancer risk. I did keep my ovaries and I’m still having some hormonal nonsense (pseudo hot flashes are not making me real optimistic about the real thing, let me tell you), so I can only imagine how much that sucks.

The thing is, you’re probably not actually doing anything wrong, it’s just a total tsunami of fuckery in her body atm that’s making her feel that way. I would suggest marriage counseling, because it’s possible that a neutral third party can help your wife see that, even though she’s not totally in control of her body or feelings right now, she still doesn’t get to make you feel like shit and she might end up destroying a relationship she still wants once she’s past this stage. There’s no easy solution, though, it’s just everyone putting their heads down and pushing through it, unfortunately.

I saw one in person the other day and physically uncomfortable is a good description. I was trying to describe it to my friends who have only seen pictures and I couldn’t stop laughing because it’s so much dumber looking in real life. Really just horrible.

Oh damn, I haven’t tried it because I have so much hot sauce that I’m on a no buy. I still have a bottle of the Huy Fong new stuff my mom bought without realizing it wasn’t as good, but I was planning to try the Underwood one as soon as I run out.

Apparently the original supplier for Huy Fong (Underwood Farms) makes their own version now, and it’s how Huy Fong used to taste.

I’m not personally insulted. I just think it’s incredibly shitty to treat dating like some kind of caste system where people “belong” at a certain level. I can see why you said you can’t “score” anyone that you view as more attractive when you view things that way.

To anyone who considers a good personality attractive, I’m guessing dating you would be considered scraping the bottom of the barrel.

I’m assuming that if the genie is giving you the money, magic will take care of some of those concerns.

I haven’t used it for personal stuff in years. My employer uses it for office supplies, so I’ve occasionally ordered work stuff, but even that is as little as possible, and only things where it won’t matter if the quality is just so so, because you can’t trust that you’ll get the real thing anymore. Plus, I don’t want to sift through 10k listings of sweatshop garbage to find the thing I’m looking for.

I’d love to be judgemental about this, but I’d absolutely be in that 25% of women who did it too.

I always did, but I pretended like I was above it for a long time. I think it felt uncool to care about that kind of thing? I don’t know, I was insecure. Now that I’ve run out of fucks, my house is really colorful and I love it. Beige everything makes me wish for the sweet release of death. Depending on how old your kids are, they might be going through a similar phase, and maybe they’ll outgrow it too.

I haven’t had any issue finding those amenities in hotels in Europe (at least in Berlin, Munich, Madrid, and Málaga, which is not an exhaustive study by any means). I’ve seen a few that look to be entire small apartment buildings converted into hotels, which isn’t great for the local housing market, but all the ones I’ve stayed at were clearly built for that purpose. So that’s the good news, I guess.

Many years ago, I worked in a call center. I was sitting with someone who was new helping them take calls and both of our headsets were plugged into the phone. The trainee was helping a store employee and she was just being awful to him. While she went to get something from the customer, I muted the line and said, “God, what a removed!” except my finger was hovering over the button and I hit it just in time for her to hear me say removed. I fully panicked and hung up on her. Nobody ever said anything to either of us and this was back when landlines would occasionally cross, so hopefully she thought that’s what happened since she hadn’t heard my voice up until then.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s the origin of why I still don’t trust mute or hold to this day. I’m not talking shit until I know that call is disconnected.

Oh I’m the opposite - I’m not a very good cook because I don’t enjoy doing it. I’m pretty good with flavors because I’m not afraid of seasonings, but my knife skills are bordering on Worst Cook in America levels. The abuse I have wrought upon poor, innocent, delicious onions is a crime.

Also, if you like the fried onions, have you seen the jalapeno version? So good. I’ve started putting them on everything.

I’m the worst about this. My mom and I will try a new restaurant and I’ll be talking about “oh this needs acid, that’s the perfect amount of heat, blah blah.” Meanwhile, I’m over here “cooking” noodles with a pile of kimchi every other day because that’s all I ever have in the fridge.

I hoped for a minute…

Hardness of the Sexbots?

Every time I talk to my friends in academia, I’m grateful that I was just smart enough to know that I’m too stupid for academia.

TIL I was ambitious. And here I thought my attitude of, “I can skip these 2 papers and still have a solid C,” made me kind of a bum. NOPE! I skimmed so many papers.

I’m from CO and dating here is terrible. It wasn’t so bad in my 20s, but doing it in my 30s has been almost entirely shit to the point that I’ve given up, and so have a lot of other people. I love the state, don’t get me wrong, but it’s expensive and the single men seem to have formed some kind of mediocrity pact. The last woman I dated went from witchy pagan to hijab-wearing Muslim convert for a man she’d met in person once, so I haven’t had better luck on the queer scene either.

That said, joining queer spaces wherever you end up is a good way to dip your toes in the water without feeling the pressure that an explicitly dating-oriented site/activity might cause. Join clubs, go to bars, whatever. If you meet someone that way, it’ll likely feel a lot more natural.

I’m vegan, so lots of stuff. Even things like tofu can be difficult to find, depending on where you are, and anything more niche than that is basically impossible.