We have similar taste and you need to listen to Kalush (and Kalush Orchestra) - Ukrainian hip hop! The “Orchestra” group has more folk influences but all of it is just banger after banger. I don’t understand a word of Ukrainian but I love these guys.

My pleasure. Let me know if there are other resources I can recommend!

We ALL need to hear it! You’re so welcome. I try to keep reminders near me when hustle culture rears its head, and it always helps :)

I always find that starting any new job is exhausting! There is so much to learn - not even the “work” itself, but processes, personalities, and systems that differ from workplace to workplace. Unless you are struggling hard financially, give yourself some time. For me, it takes at least 4-6 months in a new job to feel ready to add something else. (Now that I own my own business, it’s just adding the next thing in the business…then 4-6 months later, the next thing…). You will have to feel out your own balance and where you can draw the line. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to make more money, if that’s a goal. But you can’t do it at the expense of your sanity, relationships, health, etc. Make it sustainable.

I’m in the US for context, but have lived all over the world, and don’t participate in the hustle culture here. I work hard for my clients and there are crunch times, but on average it’s about 30-35 hours a week. That’s a sweet spot for me! I hope you find yours.

Willpower IS a thing and there is some really interesting research about how it is an exhaustible psychological “resource” we have! In other words, we can exercise our willpower up to a point, but it’s not infinite. Highly recommend reading “Switch” by Chip and Dan Health which goes into willpower as a concept if you are interested in this.

I don’t know about the notes, but I wanted to say that it takes time and effort to unlearn this idea that we are supposed to be productive all the time. This is a lie that many powerful people want us to internalize so we work ourselves to death, and it’s very insidious and omnipresent. It’s become a perverse “value” in our society at large and something to be proud of.

But you are not a machine. You’re a person. And that means you need and deserve rest and comfort.

You have inherent worth outside of your productivity, how hard you work, or how much money you make.

Those metrics don’t tell us anything about how you are as a person, your values, your kindness, your strengths, the joy you bring others.

ALL of that stuff has value. Real true value. You have to start challenging these beliefs about your worthiness. Because you are already worthy.

Some further reading/resources:

1. The Body Is Not An Apology
2. Rest is Resistance
3. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

Happy to help!

Interesting! I always use the Latin when talking plants for that reason. Common names can get so confusing. I had no idea they even called them “snowflake” here in the US - they have always been leucojum to me!

I concur with the bot. It’s definitely a leucojum, not a galanthus (aka snowdrop). The flowers are more rounded and circular in leucojum and they can often branch on one stem. Snowdrops have more separated, oblong petals, and only one flower per stem.

Here is a good article (with dissected blooms) to help differentiate between these two early spring beauties! https://www.morrisarboretum.org/blog/snowflakes-vs-snowdrops-pendulous-beauties-early-spring

Happy spring!

People seemed to appreciate the conversation in this thread about balancing privacy with the realities of wedding business marketing: https://lemmy.ml/post/7435311

Her portfolio is incredible!!! Thank you for sharing this link. (And thanks OP for a new artist to follow!!)

No, we didn’t stop the war. I marched with 300k people in Washington (a lot of veterans) and we still didn’t stop the war. But I think the widespread and global protests of the Iraq war made it clear that the US was going to wage war despite its unpopularity, evidence, allies backing out, etc. A similar thing appears to be happening now with the backlash to Israel’s Hamas response.

Here’s a good column about what those protests writ large “accomplished.” https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/20-year-anniversary-of-iraq-war-protests

FWIW, this is one of the most common forms of protest in Seattle since BLM. It’s not necessarily newsworthy to us locals! And yes, to confirm, most people in the city get pretty annoyed with protestors when it happens. A lot of people late to work, missing medical appointments, stranded with kids in the car, etc.

Sometimes keeping a symptom journal or diary can help your medical providers piece things together. They are only seeing you once for 10-30 minutes, but you’re living in your body and experiencing symptoms way more frequently. Don’t log obsessively, but maybe once a day review your pain (rated 1-5) and write down any noteworthy symptoms or episodes. And as someone else mentioned, get good at condensing your medical “story” to date, including your current symptoms.

Doctors will always go for the simplest explanation, even if it’s wrong. This is how they are trained (in the west, anyway). So don’t give up! Continue insisting on a proper diagnosis. Get another opinion. See a different specialist. If you find it difficult to advocate for yourself, imagine if this was your friend. How many mountains would move to get the same answers for a dear friend? And apply that logic and compassion to yourself. Have a bestie come with you to appointments if they are willing to.

A big part of the “suck” in this process is the not knowing. Will you be in pain forever? Will you get better? Will you get worse? Is it really a mystery illness? Will you ever get a diagnosis? With chronic pain you’ll find yourself exhausted often with the effort required to ignore the pain. So feel the pain sometimes. Lean into it. You may find it’s a relief to feel it instead of trying to block it out.

It’s maybe also worth accepting that these issues may never totally resolve. If they do, great. But what if they don’t? How can you live a happy and fulfilling life (which millions of people do with chronic pain/disability) even if it stays the same?

Lastly, I want to say that you have a separate problem, which is the lack of social support you are getting from your family. They are gaslighting you about your illness - of course you know your body best and are experiencing what you say you are. You are young and may depend on them financially, so that’s a needle you have to thread. But I’d encourage you to spend more time with friends who love and believe you.

If you have access, it’s worth working with a therapist on all of this. From what you’ve described, you have been left all alone to grapple with a disability that no one can even explain. That is an awful lot for someone to hold by themselves. Whatever happens with your illness, I hope you are able to get the love and support you deserve - which may never be offered by your family.

Yup, that too! I can’t imagine being so online that a walk under the stars with your kid is somehow mind-altering. Pretty sad.

Truly ghoulish that this mother included a picture of her child at the end of this article. The child was explicitly described as not enjoying seeing their own pictures online, and wryly telling his mother that he “never signed a waiver for his likeness to be used for promotional purposes.” What a smart kid; what an awful parent.

I totally agree. I remember when being in the phone book was enough for people to run a B2C business! The current marketing landscape for small biz owners is a nightmare, both in terms of privacy and the number of places online we are expected to “be active.” A lot of people get really burnt out on it because they also don’t realize that marketing and sales is like 80% of the work, and the fun thing you love to do is like 20%.

Come hang! Sorry, I also thought you were OP when I responded, so ignore references to wedding biz things that don’t apply to you!

Absolutely! My pleasure and I’d welcome it!

Me too! Unfortunately, most people have traded convenience for privacy at this point. Which means both your potential clients and fellow wedding pros will be in all the places you don’t want to engage with.

But I will say, the nice thing about owning your own business is that you make the rules! You don’t have to do things that don’t align with your values. You can still market your business ethically, you just might need a longer timeline for profitability.