I’m sorry things have been so tough for you, that sucks :(

I have this sad conversation with myself multiple times a week :( hang in there

I think I might have to check out this book as well, have u read it already?

“ambushed by a sudden inability to deal with stress” wow, exactly. This is fascinating, thank you for sharing! I’ve only very recently learned all my “I’m def going crazy” new traits I was investigating are perimenopause, and that I’m not losing my mind or “definitely dying” (anxiety is winning as one of the top symptoms). But I had not yet tied my complete inability to handle even the smallest stressor to it yet! I was a freaking Major Incident Manager for 10 years, someone people called in a major crisis when things were really going sideways at my large company, and now I unravel if my kid forgets their thermos or spills their milk. This is helpful, thank you! It’s unfortunate that it sounds like finally getting onto HRT won’t fix this piece, but at least it helps to have an explanation

I blank so hard at these kind of questions. Then I panic about how blank I must look so then I extra can’t “make up what a normie might say” the damn vicious circle. I read something this was called hmmm…. Had to google it, selective mutism. Was quite interesting to think back through times this happened to me, but interestingly am only now realizing how much it was in response to vague open ended prompts

Interesting, I have adhd and am quite the opposite, I love coding too much, the hyper focus kicks in and I can’t not focus on my code, fk eating, or using the bathroom, I’ll burn through every break I was supposed to take. Best employee ever I guess lol yah gotta find your passion, the thing your adhd brain excels at (your superpower some call it) and make it your career, and then focusing won’t be an issue at all! (in that one area)

Somewhere I saw you had to click a slider to move it from ‘local’ to instead be ‘all’ so it searched all the servers? Maybe that’s why u aren’t seeing it? But I dunno I just got here tonight