I hate that I don’t have an argument against this.

I instinctively read that in Homestar Runner’s voice.

Onward, men! Full sails to the horizon! On my oath, we’ll make it to Ikeland by morning!

Oh, there will be Ikes as far as the eye can see, I tell you! Tall Ikes, short Ikes, God-fearing Ikes! Our coffers will overflow with the abundance of Ikes!

You who would doubt me, who would claim the impossibility of such a paradise, you cowards who hide from ambition and surround yourselves with the petty offerings of Steve Island or David Cove, why you would not know how to handle the Ikes of Ikeland!

But I am a man of greater mettle, and I will know this new land.

Raise the anchor. The Ikes await.

My dumb nerd brain autocorrected that to Jean Grey and was very confused and curious for a hot second.

…ah-tah?

Yeah, kinda hard to ignore those themes in a game whose antagonist is a deliberate gender-swap of Ayn Rand.

Have you seen what’s down there? It’s terrifying.

You don’t have to tell me. Deep down at the bottom of the ocean? The whole place is crawling with…capitalists.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Andrew Ryan gave us all the big, shiny speech, “sweat of your brow” and all that, but what’s he got down there now? Just a buncha junkies and opportunists running guns and peeling off all of that pretty art deco veneer.

Thanks but no thanks, Ryan.

37?!?!?

glances into mirror

Oh.

Right.

…Shit.

Hakuna oblongata.

I really like that the dinosaur is labeled and defined in that diagram.

My immediate thought as well.

Jolly Roger Bay, all day.

Aw, shucks… 🙂

Boomhauer, for once in my life, I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.

pops another beer

I wish.

Crypto-whatsit? Is that something from one of Bobby’s vid’ya games?

It’s a new form of money, Hank. VIRTUAL MONEY.

Well, excuse me, Dale, but here where I live, in the REAL WORLD, we already have a perfectly fine money. It’s called AMERICAN DOLLARS and it works just fine, I tell ya h’wat.

You say that now, Hank, but wait until the cyber-swarm-uprising of 2034 comes and replaces your precious “real world” with a virtualsphere so indiscernible from what you think you know as real! Wake up and see what’s coming on the horizon!

Can you see me kicking your ass on the horizon?