Mmmm, boot. So tasty. Lick lick yum.

“I’m sorry (this got out).”

That’s funny, I used to know an Italian with crabs.

Me too, I just thought that was his personality. I mean, it fits.

Of course, that’s what estrogen does.

It’s surprising the 90’s didn’t give us a “Speed on a plane” flick. Or did they?

There’s Air Force One, I guess. And there’s probably a Steven Seagal plane movie.

Save the earth

Do coke

Fun fact: the standard qwerty layout was made to slow typewriter typing down by putting common keys off the home row and apart from each other. This was done to prevent the little key arm thingies from colliding and jamming when typing quickly.

EDIT: Apparently this is not a fact

Finally some good fucking news.

Pass the joint, bud.

Yeah, I had the same problem. Felt like it never fully healed.

I had one ring for about ten years and I don’t think it was ever noticeable through a t-shirt unless I pointed it out.

Josef Mengele died in 1979

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josef_Mengele

More like pootato

As a Canadian you should be more concerned with muskeg.

Ew no. They’re going to taste like silicone and suncreen I bet.

Somehow they’ll find a way to pay artists even less.

This sounds like the start of a prophecy.

I’m not into that but if that’s what my friends want I’ll enjoy it.

That’s such a classic, perfect joke.