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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • Kids! I thought when I was a kid I wanted them no matter what. In my early twenties I decided I only wanted kids if I could find the right partner. Now I have one. Sometimes my partner is great, sometimes he sucks. I don’t care, because my kid is great. She’s a joy to be around and gives my life purpose in a way I didn’t realize was possible. My whole purpose is just to enjoy reading her a story in that moment. My whole purpose is to feed her when she’s hungry. My whole purpose is to look into her eyes. My whole purpose is just to enjoy the moment I’m in, and she accidentally causes me to be fully present so often. It’s amazing.

    That said, I would say if you’re not 80% sure you want kids, don’t. Figure out what would get you to 80% first. Financial stability, a good partner, a solid career field, etc.






  • My ex (though really his mom i guess) taught me you can just run a half empty dishwasher. I grew up without a lot of money, so we weren’t running the dishwasher until it was full (big family, so pretty often). But when you’re one or two people, it never fills up so I was just hand washing dishes, hating my life. They ran the dishwasher every night no matter how full or empty it was. At 9pm, the dishwasher started. It’s stupid to say it changed my life, but now I just run it whenever I want. I also run my washing machine all the time and folding half loads is so much better, I no longer hate laundry.



  • ChexMax@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlAdvice on finding a partner?
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    2 months ago

    Yeah, I think sometimes people hear stop looking for a bf/gf and hear stop meeting people. The trick is to focus on bettering yourself and/or being happy outside of a relationship and your natural boost in confidence and value will likely get you out of your relationship slump. If you’re actively pursuing friendships with no stakes beyond genuine enjoyment, I think it does up your chances.

    Also people hear stop looking for a relationship, and hear stop dating. I think it can mean just stop looking for the one. Stop looking for someone who completes you. Take your foot off the gas, be open to a shorter relationship or fling. You might be surprised what you find in a relationship when there’s no pressure for it to work. My sister and I both found our husbands in relationships we thought were definitely going to only be short term.



  • ChexMax@lemmy.worldtoComics@lemmy.mlXXX
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    2 months ago

    Where’s your line of assault vs harassed? Is it a man exposing his penis when you didn’t ask for that or agree to it? Is it a guy coming up to you and asking if you have a boyfriend and when you say yes, he grabs your face and kisses you anyway? Is it your friend’s dad grabbing your butt at a party? Or is it only penetration. What about a one night stand who keeps going after the condom breaks? Every single woman I know has several stories like the above (those are mine off the top of my head).


  • If it seems like an unexamined opinion or an opinion based on faulty logic, yes.

    However I will often respect opinions if the person owns up to the non logic of it, even if the opinion affects me. Ie: “we should paint the living room this color because it’s better than the other choice” I need to know your reasoning and your plan for decorating. “I don’t know why, but I just feel in my gut this is the right color for me” I’m in, no further discussion needed. Same goes for vacation spots, daily activities, even bigger decisions like what car to get or what neighborhood to live in. I respect that you understand this opinion is based on nothing tangible and I will respect that.

    I can’t support or respect when my partner or friend feels strongly about something but their opinion is based on crap logic or no information whatsoever but they won’t own up to that for some reason.



  • I mean sometimes it has /some/ effect. I’m in my late 20s, so was a kid somewhat recently. We grew up without television. We had movies, and we had the Internet, but no TV. My dad didn’t want us mindlessly wasting time on stuff we weren’t even interested in just because it was what was “on right now.” Not to mention the accumulative hours of watching ads.

    We all ended up more creative and artistic than our peers, and my relationships with my siblings are stronger than those of my friends. We read a lot (though people I knew with TV also often read a lot so I don’t think that’s necessarily a given, though I know I myself would not have been regularly reading a book a day in middle school if TV had been an option)

    I’m just saying limiting time wasted on media is often net positive.




  • My relatives hated this strategy, and I wasn’t the only one who suffered from it. They guilted me for it, but also guilted my parents and siblings. As if they are entitled to the details of my daughter.

    People could handle (though they were vocally unhappy about it) is keeping the baby off Facebook. They could not handle me not sending pics on (Facebook) messenger, and they couldn’t handle me not telling me the birth weight.

    Multiple boomers got very upset that I wanted to keep that information private.