Pssh, you believe in the moon?

Woo I watermelons!

Laughs in Teams.

This place is worse than Oma-shoe!

On the internet, nobody suspects you’re a Pom.

Don’t forget the one that stole its name from the other one.

It’s the 11th here, so not the whole world.

Google Nexus Ice Cream Sandwich Guinea Pig

I’ve been so lonely girl,
I’ve been to sad and down

“we tricked sand into thinking”

Yoink’d

My card’s PIN is just the date when the bank reset it for me… 20 years ago.

I changed banks and I set my new card to the same PIN.

It’s sentimental at this point.

No it’s Becky.

Yeah I always try to bring up our award to shut down the “but the well tipped waiters will lose money if you mandate a minimum wage” argument.

As though a minimum wage has to stay $7.

Our waitstaff get $35/hr on weekends and somehow we still have enough small cafes to bankrupt Starbucks.

$23 is the national no award minimum, but the restaurant award mandates $29 for even a level 1 casual.

Our weird shit on a map

Short for swimming costume.

“very good sir, I shall remind you in 9 minutes”

Coming out of the lake and I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta get out because I wanna walk

Red Rooter is Australian.

Never even heard of the other one, must be some weird thing from [your state].

Damn [your state]ians.