I’m disabled!!

Agreed. Rollerblading is very 90s.

One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.

A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.

We had a dog once that was super smart and would learn what different words meant very rapidly. I’d say with most dogs I’ve had, you can go most of their life and they’ll maybe learn 2-3 different words for “dinner” and you can use other words if you’re trying not to excite them too much. But this dog I swear near the end of her life we would have to say ridiculous things around her like “Did you put the K9 cereal in the receptacle?” because she had learned just about every other basic way to say “did you feed the dog?”.

I’ve been taking a video game break to play more board games. Zoo Vadis has been a top pick lately and I highly recommend.

Don’t forget we wear them also…

In the Art History courses I’ve taken, they usually talk about nudity in the realm of “it represents fertility” or something like that. Yeah sure… Venus of Urbino is totally about “fertility” and she’s definitely not touching herself for any other reason.

And then there’s you did everything you possibly could yourself and you did your best and saved tons of money, but now you actually do need to pay someone to do the thing you don’t trust yourself to do so you saved money just for the thing, but no contractor will agree to come do the thing because demand is high and they would rather do commercial projects. So yeah… You can’t even pay a pro and you’re just fucked 🤷

When I was a kid, my mom either bought or was gifted a little plush snowman that would say “Happy holidays! Happy holidays!” When you squeezed it. It would maybe get squeezed a few times in December and then put in a bin until the following year. No one ever changed the batteries and it still worked each year for many years. Then it started to run out of juice. And slowly over each year it would sound more and more demonic, but it always played at least once before running out of power. It’s now been more than 25 years and we still check it each year to see if the demonic snowman is still alive. I’m not sure it will ever die if it was never alive in the first place…

This.

I KNOW WHOOOO I WANT TO TAKE ME HOME

Not 3 years ago, I had a landlord who was very low key and hands off. This was great in the sense that we could do whatever we wanted to the apartment and he wouldn’t care, but we had to write him an actual check each month. Considering this apartment had everything we wanted with all the sprinkles for an incredible price, I was totally down to write a physical check if that’s what the guy wanted. Plus you can typically get your bank to write and send checks automatically which we ended up doing after a while. Ended up staying for 5 excellent years! 10/10 would write checks again.

Well… Duh?

Even if I look at my own family… My sister has loads of health issues and is financially unstable, so she has decided to be a dog mom instead. My brother is in a situation where he will likely never own a home and will have to rent his whole life, so that’s a no for him as well even though I know he’d like kids. I’m the lucky sibling that has stable enough work that I could buy a house. But it’s a real fixer upper that I’ve spent 3 years remodeling and even when it’s done, I’ll be in my mid 30s by the time I have kids because I didn’t want to have kids in an unstable environment. Most of my friends will not have kids for similar reasons with a few exceptions and those usually involve situations where they had financial help from parents or married someone 10 years older than themself who was in a more stable position. So uh… Yeah that seems to be the state of things at the moment.

Can someone please teach whoever made this about the basics of graphic design? I can hardly read this ity-bity condensed as fuck text on top of a potato quality complicated background. Good God.

I could be wrong, but I think the original idea for the matrix was that they were using human brains for processing power and not energy. But someone in the movie making process decided people wouldn’t understand that and instead went with the battery analogy.

Best: twix, 100grand, candy corn, sweet tarts

Worst: bottle caps, heath, unnamed hard candies, tootsie rolls

MY ANUS IS BLEEDING

No one should be using these anyway. Everyone rags on Keurig for how wasteful it is and how much plastic it adds to landfills and probably your coffee, but no one seems to talk about how this does the same thing :/

We drove from Illinois to Florida and stopped at a local chain in Alabama along the way called Milo’s. It had great reviews and people said you had to get the burger with the special sauce or whatever it was called. Let me tell you that this “burger” was very reminiscent of my grade school lunches when they would serve “Salisbury steak with gravy” in the little paper containers that you had to pinch the corner to peel the film off and eat. Now while usually this would be a lesson in how terrible us school lunches are, this is more of a lesson in how bad the food in Alabama is in that the local people think that this is good enough food to pay someone real money for it.

I went to Meijer a week ago and saw they had a pallet of candy corn. I was like wow this early? And I bought a bag thinking it must be left over from last year or something, but no it was just the opposite. It was the freshest bag of candy corn I’ve ever eaten and it was very delicious. But it also made me realize that the reason I’m never getting fresh candy corn for Halloween is because they literally make it and ship it in late July/early August and then just let it sit there for 3 months until Halloween. But at least now I know when the best time is to buy candy corn… So there’s that.