Dear father. It has been a year since my last confession. Since then, I have
- Lied to my boss 300 times
- Disrespected my parents 12 times
- Got into arguments with my wife 56 times
- Masturbated 4,530 times
- Murdered trillions of children 4,530 times
- Called God’s name in vain 5,900 times
- Became nihilistic 40 times
- Participated in 95 gooning sessions
- Stolen from work 500 times
- Imagined my wife being naked 600 times
And I ask for forgiveness for any sins that I’ve forgotten to mention today.
Whenever I’m forced to go I just tell the priest I’ve been having doubts about the existence of God and the purpose of the catholic church. Then he forgives me and tells me to do 5 Hail Mary’s as penance.
Lol
It seems that interest rates on sinning is pretty low