And it has all kinds of implications and context and shit.

How the fuck am I supposed to tell what’s just people doing things at random and what’s a part of all-singing-all-dancing-shit-show the neurotypicals call “social norms”? Down with NTs.

Honestly while it’s really fucking annoying that refusal to participate could result in some silly neuronormo interpreting a completely innocuous action as an offense, and it can cut you off from social shit, I think it’s basically the only way. The same button never does the same thing twice. Screeching rn.

  • Wertheimer [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    34·
    13 days ago

    I just learned this Persian word:

    In the rules of hospitality, taarof requires a host to offer anything a guest might want, and a guest is equally obliged to refuse it. This ritual may repeat itself several times (usually three times) before the host and guest finally determine whether the host’s offer and the guest’s refusal are genuine, or simply a show of politeness.

    The host is then expected to say one should not do taarof (“ta’arof nakon” - similar to “don’t be polite!”) for which the appropriate response would be to say “no” two or three times and then pretend to cave in to the host’s insistence and pile on the food.

    I suspect every culture has examples of this (we can find it everywhere from The Water Margin to Curb Your Enthusiasm), but it’s nice to have a word for one of these neurotypical song-and-dance routines that even the neurotypicals haven’t mastered.

    • SuperZutsuki [they/them, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
      26·
      13 days ago

      I hate this kind of shit so much. It reminds me of trying to leave family gatherings and getting stuck saying goodbye to people for an hour. Leave the theatrics for the stage and screen, I just want to say how I feel in the moment.

      • Wertheimer [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
        20·
        13 days ago

        Act I: Desperately trying to avoid being hugged

        Act II: Explaining and apologizing for your ARFID for the millionth time as they try to feed you dubious regional cuisine

        Act III: Desperately trying to navigate goodbyes

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      13·
      13 days ago

      I get why such rituals exist, but even when I know them I feel too coerced to actually humor them unless it means my life or livelihood.

      It’s also why I reject the “bro code” in whatever sloppy form that brobros try to throw at me. Fuck the brocode, fuck the “man card,” isn’t self-confidence and doing things your own way supposed to be “manly” anyway?