your friends will never consider you important as someone they’re smashing privates (or hoping to) with
I mean, this sounds like you need more ace friends, but also people will have different priorities based on shared interests anyways, it’s just reaaaaallly obvious with sex because allonormativity inflates how often people talk about it and how important people see it as. Like if you have a friend you play Catan with every night you’re going to grow more attached to them than other friends, it seems relatively normal to me, though that doesn’t excuse allonormativity treating sex as more important than things like Catan.
Alternatively if this is coming from a place of allo people straight-up abandoning you in times of need (in favor of something trivial with their partners) than those sound like very shitty friends.
Sorry if this is invalidating, idk how to phrase my feelings or put together my thoughts in a encompassing way here. I want it to be comforting but as an allo person I’m also being kind-of defensive here and honestly I’m worried about that being a toxic behavior from me, I can delete this if it’s offensive/invalidating/unhelpful.
Sorry if this is invalidating, idk how to phrase my feelings or put together my thoughts in a encompassing way here. I want it to be comforting but as an allo person I’m also being kind-of defensive here and honestly I’m worried about that being a toxic behavior from me
No worries comrade.
Your Catan comparison is spot on tbh. I’d only add that that allonormativity also says “it is more important to play catan with someone you are sexing with than a regular friend”
I think that’s somewhat allonormativity, but also a big chunk of people who have intertwined sex/romance drives, so that specifically is kind of a clusterfuck
I mean, this sounds like you need more ace friends, but also people will have different priorities based on shared interests anyways, it’s just reaaaaallly obvious with sex because allonormativity inflates how often people talk about it and how important people see it as. Like if you have a friend you play Catan with every night you’re going to grow more attached to them than other friends, it seems relatively normal to me, though that doesn’t excuse allonormativity treating sex as more important than things like Catan.
Alternatively if this is coming from a place of allo people straight-up abandoning you in times of need (in favor of something trivial with their partners) than those sound like very shitty friends.
Sorry if this is invalidating, idk how to phrase my feelings or put together my thoughts in a encompassing way here. I want it to be comforting but as an allo person I’m also being kind-of defensive here and honestly I’m worried about that being a toxic behavior from me, I can delete this if it’s offensive/invalidating/unhelpful.
No worries comrade.
Your Catan comparison is spot on tbh. I’d only add that that allonormativity also says “it is more important to play catan with someone you are sexing with than a regular friend”
I think that’s somewhat allonormativity, but also a big chunk of people who have intertwined sex/romance drives, so that specifically is kind of a clusterfuck