We’re like to extend our most sincere apologies for today’s downtime, explain the issue, and talk about what we’ll be doing going forward.
Late last night or early this morning, an owl entered the server room and, unsurprisingly, pissed on everything. We had to drag them out of a corner where they’d started building a nest out of CAT5 cables. After checking with all our keyholders, we determined that they had not tricked someone into lending them the keys this time, and nobody had left a window open. We have not found their entry point yet, but we suspect we are getting closer (we’ve found a large pile of shit near one of the vents).
We managed to dry one server off and get the website running again, but unfortunately we only have 1 hair dryer and will need a few more days to dry the rest of the servers and get the site fully operational.
Going forward, our plan is:
- Cover outside AC vents and similar in chicken wire
- assess and reinforce weak points in the building’s structure
- tape old CDs to the building to reflect the sun and scare them away
- attack roosting spikes to the server racks
- stop keeping open, uncovered cans of beans at our desks
We are also looking into hiring a falconer as a more active deterrent.
Thank you for your patience in such a difficult time.
You all make the most annoying posts on here. I have to assume it’s all the same person considering the shit jokes and the way everyone has ten accounts to dogpile new users.
(I literally mean SHIT jokes.)
As we all know foruming is very serious business people
It’s actaully fucked up how folks have fun and crack jokes instead of being obnoxious twits who piss everyone off for no discernible reason
can you get a load of this poster"goog" (perhaps a google infiltrator!!!)? they don’t think that fart fetish joke #891 made by one guy who cries all the time is the height of comedy??? GET EM BOYS!!!
lmao talk about a fuckin crybaby jesus christ, whining ass redditor go stare at the sun and give yourself a real problem
I’m unlikely to ever have a real problem again. Enjoy your kids getting run over, infected, and shot in Burgerstan, if you manage to remain fertile.
why would you disavow one of the site’s core values?
site rules also state it’s impossible to acknowledge any jokes made by adversarial posters, so I commend you on getting back into shape. don’t fuck up again
You definitely shouldn’t try to become a PI then.
Really would take a real perp-sweater to crack the Hexbear crew. Had a voting thread about gender identity and a thread about how many alt accounts you have on the same day. Smells like a Yugioh tournament in this damn site.
Wow, I can tell you’re real smart, putting two and two together like that. A thread about gender identity and a revival of the /r/CTH “everyone is my alt” meme. Only an incredibly logical mind could look at those and deduce that all the owls are one person.
Why are you even here? You made an account, disappeared for 2 weeks, and then came back to announce you were giving the site one last chance to keep you. Why would we want to keep you? Did you get the impression that the site with communities like ChapoTrapHouse and FakeNews is some kind of major centre of leftist organising?
Go touch some grass and stop making up owl conspiracies, you’re just being weird.
The owl doth protest too much, methinks. Extremely funny to go right from declaring everything you do is a joke to saying my joke about “last chance to keep me for your org” meant I think the “anti-sectarian” imageboard is a REAL PLACE and an ORG. Lol, my other posts clarify I understand the medium is the massage, but I can’t expect you to keep up with that while profile stalking me. After all you don’t care about the content of the post, only the aphasic rhythm of posting and emoting.
Do you know what the funniest thing is about people like you who camp out on websites and try to belong to them? You can’t restrain yourself from showing off the way you take everything other people say the worst way in order to feel better about yourself. As long as they can’t prove to you that they were joking, you get to feel smarter. Every joke you miss, every message you misinterpret makes you smarter. You get smarter by missing the point of everything, proving whatever you came across was stupid. So that’s how you got to 2024 incapable of doing anything other than throwing temper tantrums about how shit things are where you live. And I’m going to Vietnam. You’re jealous aren’t you? Aren’t you jealous you chose to try to stay and fix the imperial core? I’m leaving in July. I’ve got a career.
@Voight? This is incredible, either you’re @Voight or I attract a really specific brand of weirdo that makes wild deductions from extremely broad statements, has an obsession with being more intelligent than other people, splits their near instant replies into 3-5 posts, and is totally going to move to Veitnam any day now.
Edit: Oh, and the obsession with some sort of elite class of website regulars who are conspiring against you.
Buddy you probably wouldn’t get any comments about your obsession with belonging to an internet forum for posting anime pictures if you hadn’t cited “a joke we used to do on the subreddit” like I give a fuck. And you wouldn’t get called out for using alt accounts if you bothered to introduce variety other than “SHIT!!! POOP! I AM VERY FUNNY! OWL COVERED IN SHIT!!! oh god im sad again wahhh the world is ending :(((( POOP!!!”
I don’t have any option other than moving to Vietnam to be involved in this industry. I might as well roast you about it.
I forgot about getting mad about the community having a history and in jokes that they don’t know, Voight did that too. Are you sure you’re not Voight?
I called the whole Ukraine/Palestine bent leaving you guys helpless and unhappy too. Like just the other day a guy was getting mad at me for pointing out defeatism on the behalf of the Palestinians is inappropriate and unwarranted. I speak to you because I understand nobody would act like you unless you were in deep pain and suffering from a shattered identity. Maybe eventually some of it will sink in. But after seeing people still wandering around talking about how “Russia is putting Ukrainians in a war zone and the USA is sending weapons to stop it” I guess I have to write off the old sub. Would be nice if we had a Ship of Theseus thing going here, but we both know that isn’t true. You know how much of the activity here is all “regulars”.
I don’t give snide advice to people I hate. You deserve to know better than spending years doing online performing arts in the hopes nobody notices, but at the same time everyone does. You deserve better than trying to fix commonwealth countries. Move to a country that’s doing MAOIST AGRICULTURE and RAISE THE DEVELOPMENT LEVEL. Stop participating in the activist-NGO complex that has robbed you of hope and agency! Or die!
I like how there’s never any point it’s just “getting mad” not me pointing out there is a group of people here sitting around like “hey it’s fine if we make alts and bot our own site and harass people and pretend to be members of marginalized communities, if we multiply representation we’ll eventually get the real deal” and you admit it half the time like brother you have a drunk man randomly leaking everything on here.
Also “Ryan Gosling” and “Zed Proclaimer” (Z poster)??? LOL come on at least make the names less obvious I know it’s not just Owls. You all post exactly the same. You can tell when Le Discord Gang pulls up. Show yourselves cowards. I should have reported my OWN post so you see it’s directly mailing mods
are you sure you’re not an owl covered in shit?
Go on, you know you want to hit it with a
Cmon my little Discord kittens, it’s longer than two sentences. You’re not actually going to read it are you? That would take too long. It’s time for
Nice Discord emote that was customized into a programmer hobbyist version of reddit. Really telegraphs how much more in touch with nature and society you are than I am. Gonna reconsider my life.
i wish i could be in tune with nature, i just got home from a 12 hour shift and logged on to laugh at some commie shitposts and i see you having an absolutely normal one in here. go do something with your life dude
You completely misinterpreted my post about leaving America,
you are really dumbthat’s mean nvm >:) you are really ANNOYING, I think you did it even though you’re smart enough to avoid it. The point was if I leave the US then I can’t join US orgs(A Yugioh tournament would smell vaguely fishy btw not just referencing another popular post.)