That’s partly allonormativity, but it was confusing to me at first, too! I experience no sexual or romantic attraction to people. Never wanted to kiss someone, never thought of wanting to ask someone out on a date. Always seen attractiveness on an ‘objective’ scale - I know what is conventionally attractive, and so I can deduce it logically, but I don’t feel anything for it. At the same time I enjoy the fantasy of “a cute guy” acting flustered, being all embarassed , but when I say ‘fantasy’ I don’t think of an actual person, it’s always this thought form of ‘twink with fluffy brown hair’ but he has no face. I like BL manga, too, where these cute scenarios often feature.

Until I came across microlabels and spoke with other aroace people, as well as understood attraction and its place in society, I had trouble placing this disconnect of not feeling attraction yet liking gay romance stories.