I love my therapist, but they have a job too do and my dark humor doesn’t always land.
So, real question. What if your depression is caused by a set of circumstances you can’t escape? Like, what if your life sucks, and it’s not a chemical imbalance? So, you’re just trapped in a hell of your own design, and escaping it would just lead to an even worse hell. Out of the pan and into the fire, as they say.
Also, I’m not asking for mental health advice. It’s just something I’ve wondered about. I know y’all can’t give advice.
therapy can introduce you to tools you can use to handle less than ideal circumstances
My psychiatrist likes to keep my anxiety at a nice realistic level. We can medicate me to the point where I won’t be afraid to walk across the interstate, but that’s dangerous. Instead “I’m able to function and yes I’m still very scared of the climate catastrophe, but it’s because it was the hottest summer on record and the experts are terrified” is where we’re happy. Panic attacks do no good, but numbing yourself completely hurts too.
So for depression caused by circumstances, the goal is to work on putting yourself in a position where you’re most capable of doing good for yourself. And if it’s completely inescapable like life in prison I believe the goal would be to seek peace with your circumstances, whereas if it’s long temporary like turns out you hate parenthood, the goal will be more like developing the endurance to last that long
Man, I posted my original comment as like a diarrhea of mind moment. But, every answer so far has been pretty good. Like my original comment is applicable to me. But it’s really cool that there have been so many good answers.
Like, what if your life sucks, and it’s not a chemical imbalance?
“Regular” life problems feed into my “chemical imbalance”
The line between non-mental-illness problems and mental illness is very blurred. The only real thing you can do sometimes is try and focus on “what you can change” im not a big fan of this rhetoric but it is somewhat true.
I could see that. I mean as someone that was a hardcore opiate addict for over a decade. I almost certainly have some kind of chemical imbalance. Like, it would honestly surprise me to find out I’m not chemically imbalanced? But truthfully I’m more unhappy about my circumstances than anything. I said more about them in a comment.
It’s around about where the coping mechanisms you have to deal with external stressors can’t cope with the stressors and you are falling into undesired mental patterns and behaviours that further cause you harm.
Do the best you can under the circumstances available to you. Make any effort, no matter how small, to disrupt that set of circumstances and try not to kill yourself before any change is apparent.
Whole lotta words to say: keep calm and carry on.
Yeah, I find myself chasing pleasure. Like, A LOT. Like, I’m not suicidal or anything, and things can always be worse. But, the short version is. We have a special needs kid. My partner and I have a special needs kid together. My partner also payed for my addiction treatment.
When we found out that our kid is special needs. My partner didn’t want to be stay at home parent. So, I volunteered. But, we are a family of 4 with one car, and one drivers license (me).
Obviously I can’t leave them, because so many reasons. But I am a full time chauffeur starting at 5am when I take my partner to get coffee. Till 5 or 6 pm when I get dinner.
Could it be worse? Absolutely. But as I get older, and more sober. I find myself liking people less. Even my own family. I want to be clear that I don’t hate my family. I would just very much like to see less of them.
I have taken up fishing, but as I’m the only means of transportation for everyone. I don’t get to go as much as I’d like. But such is life.
This is kind of the quick and dirty version. Of course life is always more nuanced than this, but I figured that since you gave a well thought out answer the least I could do is give enough information to give context to what I was asking.
What about those of us with trauma caused by therapy? “Recovered” memories, queer conversion therapy, and all kinds of shittiness.
Also, every therapist I’ve tried has done nothing but give me worksheets and CBT (or just tells me to quit my job 🤷♂️)
There is no shortage of terrible therapist out there.
I could say keep trying but maybe you need an alternative.
Have you looked into peer counseling or peer support?
https://www.americanmentalwellness.org/intervention/peer-support/
