Interesting start! I see you labeled it as an excerpt, is this part of a larger work or is that part of the story itself? Wouldn’t mind reading more of this! I liked the religious themes presented, specifically the whole war against Michael thing (the arch angle, right?). I think you did a good job dropping lore and world building without making it feel forced or rushed, and blended it really nicely into the story (the world itself is also super interesting too!) However, it ended rather suddenly and without resolution, at the very least I’d like to see how the negotiations play out; the way it just ends like that leaves me with an empty feeling.

Thanks for writing something up! I really did enjoy reading it.