this shit’s too funny i gotta post it

The cognitive dissonance in here is amazing to behold. Now that it turns out that Iran won’t, actually, be wiping Israel off the map and is in fact moving in the opposite direction, it will be exciting to watch the deluge of “patriots in control” type cope overrun Hexbear as the fantasies of destroying Israel fizzle out into nothing. First it was Hamas that was going to destroy Israel, then when that didn’t happen all you stupid fucking braindead marks frantically turned up the gaslighting machine and assured everyone that you didn’t say what you said and moved the goalposts to redefine “victory” as “not completely exterminated”. No amount of lying and gaslighting is going to change the record of your frothing glee on October 7 as you all predicted the imminent collapse of Israel. Now you’re all stuck doing mental gymnastics trying to rationalize taking potshots at soldiers in a bombed out shithole as a “victory” and the successful occupation of half of Gaza and the further seizure of territory in the West Bank as a “crushing defeat”. It’s extremely funny watching all of you go “no we never said Israel was going to instantly collapse” knowing full well that you absolutely fucking did. Then it was Iran that was going to destroy Israel. Whoops! Better start working on your lying gaslighting narrative about how you never predicted that and it’s actually a victory since the new president hasn’t fucked Netanyahu yet and actually the game is still on, hardliners working behind the scenes, trust the plan. Patriots in control. And then Yemen was going to destroy the US Navy, and then that didn’t happen and you repeated your gaslighting trick to pretend you didn’t say that and smugly proclaiming “of course that wasn’t going to happen”, as you redefine victory yet again, this time to mean sinking random cargo ships. Now it’s Hezbollah that’s going to destroy Israel. When that doesn’t happen you’ll all be back on your bullshit with your lying and gaslighting. Now that it’s clear to all that Israel isn’t toppling anytime soon, you’re forced to cope by lying yet again, this time claiming you meant that Israel would gradually collapse from “contradictions” - a term constantly used but never defined. And when that, too, doesn’t happen, you’ll have the relatively easy task of stretching the duration of “gradual” until you’re using geological epochs. You’re all exactly like the NAFO marks on twitter, eagerly proclaiming the latest great victory as the steamroller is actively going over your desiccated corpse. Your ability to completely detach from reality and ramble on about your triumph in the face of an obvious and undeniable defeat would be admirable if it didn’t make you look like the dumbest people on the fucking planet. It’s truly impressive - Israel could completely occupy and annex all of Gaza and it would still be a defeat for Israel and a victory for Hamas. For uh, reasons. I guess after that happens I’ll have to wait a few days before checking back in so you have time to prepare your batshit insane mental gymnastics explanation for why that is the case. See you all in 10 years when America is still the global hegemon, Israel still exists, and the global socialist revolution hasn’t started. I would bet every last penny that you’ll all still be predicting the imminent collapse of the USA. You fucking lost. But you will never, ever, ever acknowledge it. If any one of you got into a fight that ended with you getting shot in the head, you’d be posting “I’ve won, actually, and here’s why” as you’re floating up up and away from your mangled corpse. Any time anything happens, you start from the conclusion that you’ve won and shoehorn anything and everything to fit that conclusion. I guess it makes you feel better about your pathetic self, but if you ever want to actually win, that’s not going to work. But go on, have fun crossing out “defeat” and hastily scribbling over it with “victory” and celebrating as you retreat further and further into the abyss of historical irrelevancy. The world will ultimately move on from the question of Israel. It’s good entertainment watching a group of people who continually, unceasingly eat shit day in and day out make nonstop pronouncements about the inevitability of their global revenge. Sure thing honey! Whatever makes you sleep at night.

pissing myself