I recently came out to some family members as non-binary, and it actually went really well. Most of the people I’ve interacted with, in regards to me being queer, were on my dad’s side of the family, but little did I come to know, my mom’s side of the family is actually… pretty damn based.

I was super nervous to open up about this. Unfortunately, my mother is now deceased. The rest of my mom’s side of the family never really showed themselves being transphobic, but I felt like their attitude on trans people could’ve gone either way honestly.

I posted this in a group chat with my two cousins, my older brother, and my uncle. My uncle himself is a cisgender gay man, and one who’s experienced a lot of flack from our family on the basis of his sexuality himself. You might think that will automatically make him seem likely to be affirming, but I never forget that cisgender gay people are still cisgender. Also, despite his sexual orientation, my uncle is still a practicing Catholic who is quite religious, so that gave me some fears too. It made me think he could’ve been the self-hating kind of gay.

My brother himself knew of my gender identity and name already. Hell, he even already called me that name outside of the group chat. Unfortunately, I had a bit of anxiety getting past the obstacle of sending a message to come out to the group chat as a whole, but I just really ripped the band-aid off. I had to fucking get over it and purge that anxiety, and boy, did I purge it.

I’ve been on hormones for a bit over half a year, and I don’t go by my birth name in my day-to-day life at all. The group chat’s been active for a bit, but I’ve just generally yielded to getting deadnamed. Unfortunately, I don’t have that much of a spine or backbone in these contexts, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

These family members haven’t seen me in person for quite a bit, but we were planning on meeting up at my uncle’s house for, ahem, “Murica Day”, and I wanted to make this totally clear to avoid confusion and deadnaming.

The text messages you see there are the responses I got from my uncle and one of my cousins.

I don’t live near any of my mom’s side of the family, but most of my dad’s side of the family is in the same state as me. I lost all of them due to them being vehemently transphobic, but I’m so glad this could be turned around in the way it has been turned around.

Actually having genuinely supportive family was exactly what I needed, especially right now, and I feel a good deal less alone knowing that I can now move onto a chapter with less transphobia from my family and more allyship from them instead.

💛🤍💜🖤