this girl that in knew in highscool as a white libertarian gay guy is now a liberal bisexual trans women. we love to see it, of course. so she reaches out to me to apologized to all the shitty sometimes racist shit she said in highschool that led to us no longer being friends. i say yeah 100% forgiven lets catch up. so we do and we end up chatting for like a year, we get close, she send me update pics of her boob development and pics of her gf, i share my poetry, its nice.until one day while talking about what defines us and she says something like “humanist, pagan woman” and im like cool i would say i think of myself in my own mind foremost as a black nonbinary communist, i also said being a black and communist were the two things i loved to most about me. she takes a long pause and basically tells me i "put too much stock into labels, and that im negatively reminding her of some poc communist friend she has thats “too aggressive” and “denies the genocide of ukrainans” and im "being held back by thinking of everything through race. for context this girl has made being a transwomen a huge part of her personality, constantly complaining about the cis (hell yeah) she talks about being a transwomen and autistic every conversation and i think thats awesome and cool. but apparently i cant talk about being black or a communist. FURTHER CONTEXT one of the reason we originally stopped being friends was in part because she tried to tell me not too identify as black because “were just people labels are reductive”. i gave a bs excuse about why i dont want to be friends anymore but yeah i was thinking about it today and just wanted to vent. it was a while ago but it still sucks.
i feel like this is a thing with white queers in general, especcialy if they had a “conservative phase”
and before someone asked why i was friends with a libertarian in high school the answer is i loved arguing and she would threaten mean boys for me.
Wholly agreed. As soon as they hear a label they don’t like, all of a sudden, it becomes ‘reductive’, you’re just ‘playing a card’ to them, you got ‘too radical’. There’s a reason I stopped fucking with white queers in general, and a lot of it has to do with the way so many of them glommed onto “all lives matter” as a response when BLM was first starting to rev its engine-- your ex-friend smacks of the same kind of reflexive anti-blackness that seems to thread its way entirely through the queer community.
All I know is the moment someone tries to tell me to not live in the Blackness I’m only just now finding as a result of one of those type of aspirant 10-percenter upbringings, that’s the moment I cut the mf off like a rotting bough; with an exact receipt for why.
yeah i no longer have any white friends and my mental health had never been better lmao. it wasnt a purposeful thing but i raised my standards and poof all the white people in my life disappeared.
It was as soon as you started setting boundaries, wasn’t it
it was like a light switch, shoutout to my therapist! so glad i found a black therapist who validates me.
Taken out of context, reading that would cause some serious meltdowns among hate-watchers of Hexbear.
Taken in context probably the same thing but still.
lmao fuck 'em. I’m with Othello; soon as I got rid of the crackers, my peace of mind, ability to sleep undisturbed, and ability to look at myself in the mirror without seeing a sold-out minstrel in the reflection all increased tenfold.