

Lovecraft had some big-brained 600 IQ views on race I will never understand.
And I semi-ironically love him for that. I love reading Lovecraft not because his stories are scary — they aren’t — but because it’s hilarious to read them knowing they come from the perspective of a white guy who is grappling with anxiety that the White Race may not in fact be the masters of all creation. Reading them from that perspective makes a lot of it funny. Like oh, what’s so horrible is that he realized he’s not at the top of the world. Normal people already know that.
Just got back from a date and it confirmed for me that I cannot date. Certainly not now, maybe not ever again. I’m absolutely emotionally unavailable. I just want to be back with my ex. It’s too bad, this person was cute and really into me, we agreed to a 2nd date already because I hadn’t processed some of the feelings yet but it all came up on my way home. Going to have to figure out how to let them down kindly, promptly.
I guess almost half a year isn’t enough time to get over such a long term relationship with a longer term friend. I want to just give up on everything.