- Protagonist: Typical UStoid dump dump Vietnam vet (he actually used his uncle’s connection to get a cozy kitchen job but plays it like he is Rambo)
- Chinese couple moves next door with a teenage daughter, he thinks they are Vietnamese for some reason…
- He starts thinking they are plotting something.
- He sees nightmares of the daughter chasing him around the neighborhood. At some point she comes out of the woods in the backyard screaming “haya haya haya” while swinging her AK47. He pisses his pants.
- He remembers his buddies in the army telling him stories about the infamous Vietcong tunnels.
- The nightmares continue. Now he dreams that she has dug tunnels all around his house. He opens the cupboards, she is there, he looks underneath the table, she is there, he opens the toilet, she is there. What the hell!
- He decides it’s time to fight back. He gets his neighborhood-watch buddies and they start digging their own tunnels. These idiots dug tunnels all over the neighborhood! Finally they hit Nord Stream 2. Not fully realizing what they had done they light a match and end up blowing up half the neighborhood. Miraculously nobody in the neighborhood got seriously hurt except his German buddy that lost his balls.
- Our hero got badly burned but survives.
- While ready to be sent to the hospital, he confronts the teenage daughter and apologizes to her, finally realizing his mistake.
- She accepts his apology and gives him a parting gift.
- In the ambulance he start opening the gift. Meanwhile the teenage daughter moves to her room. He opens the gift and it’s an invitation to the CPC anniversary. He starts panicking again. The scene cuts to the daughter that opens her closet to reveal Mao’s picture and other revolutionary material and books. Red Sun in the Sky starts playing
- The scene cuts to the ambulance. He is trying to stop the vehicle. “You don’t understand. I have to tell the President, let me out!”. The nurse, speaking in an accent, advises him to calm down and gives him some medicine to calm down.
- He ask her: “Strange accent you have Miss, where are you from?”.
- She answers “from mother Russia of course”.
- He starts screaming as the credits start rolling at the sound of the Soviet Anthem.
- THE END
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