deleted by creator

or in other words…

“fake it 'til you make it”

sitting under Schrödingers window…

I knew some folks that used to own a “dented can” grocery store named Dirt Cheap Grocery. They would find all sorts of deals on entire lots of nearly expired canned and frozen goods and what ever various other things they could find through their various connections. There would always be something different, and they would have some pretty incredible deals sometimes. I remember buying an entire case of frozen hash brown patties for $5. There were six 5 lb bags in there. we split it up with my wife’s sisters families. Another time they had those Michelina’s frozen pasta dishes that had just expired for 10 for $1. My favorite deodorant scent had been recently discontinued and they just so happened to get a hold of a big display bin full of hundreds of them and sold them for $1 a piece. It took me several years before I finally ran out…

I have a reaallly stupid niece-in-law who prefers to keep her daughter from hanging out with her little cousin (my grand-daughter) because my daughter taught her own daughter that it’s called a vagina and not a tee-tee or what-ever-the-fuck the niece-in-law insists on calling it. She literally does not want her daughter exposed to the word ‘vagina’. I think the world of my nephew, but his wife can kick rocks…

Elvira - The Oakridge Boys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGKatCAQed0

I know this from experience because when this song was fairly new, we were eating in a Pizza Hut and a kids Little League team came in after their game and proceeded to occupy a good portion of the restaurant. I swear every damn one of those kids had a quarter for the jukebox and every one of them picked that song. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they all just had to frickin’ sing along with it on top of that! I remember a couple of those little turds waving their arms like conductors…

I worked in an office that had a water fountain that everyone stopped using after we got a filtered dispenser installed in the kitchen. Every couple of weeks or so we’d walk in the door first thing in the morning and get a nice little aromatic reminder to run a little bit of water through it…

We came home one evening and discovered our 10lb wiener-pinscher had eaten a whole dish of Dove dark Chocolates while we were away. Easily a couple of dozen pieces… All that was left were little bits of foil wrappers all over the floor where he attempted to peel each one open. I’da really liked to have seen how he was doing that. We just knew he was fixin’ to die. Aside from looking guilty as hell, he showed zero signs of any ill effects. There’s no telling how much of the foil wrappers he ate either…

Just yesterday we were at my wife’s sister’s house. They live in a brand-new house in a brand-new neighborhood. Some dingus was going around to every single house leaving flyers advertising a tree trimming service and reminding everyone that it’s hurricane season. The thing is, their wasn’t a single tree in the entire neighborhood that was bigger than a year-old sapling.

They taste just like those little wooden spoons we’d get with our ice cream cups

… or in a porn flick?

Dick

… or flying over the fence?

Homer

That one has to be my favorite death scene of the whole series. That show was sooo good…

What is it about brewing it cold that makes it better? Why not brew it normally and then cool it off? I love coffee, but have never really been a cold brew aficionado. I recently watched an episode of Americas Test Kitchen that showed the best way to make cold brew coffee, and when they used enough coffee grounds to brew two pots worth just to make two servings that wouldn’t be ready til the next day, I realized I probably would never become one.

whodathunkit…

My wife’s maternal side of her family is all from Mississippi. I was blown away the first time I traveled up there to meet them all. They all seemed like the nicest, warmest people you could meet. Welcomed me into their family with open arms. We had a big meal, and afterwards we were all gathered around just shooting the breeze and the subject of conversation moved to how they all used to torment black people back in the good ol’ days. N-words as far as the ear could hear, and uproarious laughter filled the room. This was about the time I started spending all my time outside smoking. I couldn’t wait to GTFO of there…

My wife has extended family from Mississippi. They are some of the stupidest people I have ever met. They all, and I mean ALL, send their kids to private schools so they won’t have to attend alongside black kids. One of her cousins was just down visiting with us and I walked in while she was ranting about how “I know trump is blahbidyblah, but things were so much better under him… just look at the GAS PRICES screee scrawww hurr durr”. I did the ol’ Grandpa Simpson about face and checked tf out before I said something ugly and upset my wife (not that she actually agrees with her cousin or anything, I just need to be nice…)

😂 No but thanks for sharing that!! 😂

My german sherherd won’t drink out of the big water jug bowl thing the other dogs use because she’s afraid of the “glug-glug” noise it may or may not make while she’s using it. Instead, she chooses to drink out of the toilet. Fortunately, we were able to convince her that drinking from a semi-clean bowl of water beside the toilet would be a, um… classier choice.

I love watching this guy shit in his mess kit. As a citizen of Florida, I can only hope that his idiotic anti-wokeness culture wars wake up enough normally right-leaning voters to at least tilt them a little bit towards the center.

Here lately I’ve been watching Camping With Steve. He’s a really likeable Canadian guy who does all sorts of camping videos, and a lot of them are stealth camping, where he camps in some pretty crazy places in all sorts of imaginative and inexpensive ways. I’ve always liked to daydream about camping out in various wooded areas that I would see while driving by them in the car, and this guy actually goes and does it. Along highway on-ramps, in the middle of a round-about, behind billboards, in the wooded lot behind a police station… you name it. I’m too old and comfortable to go do something like that now, so it’s fun living vicariously through him.