• 6 Posts
Joined 5M ago
Cake day: Mar 05, 2022


Don’t engage with them, just report them and move on. This ain’t the place for them and if they are here it isn’t going to be in good faith.

The US has this weird hero worship thing for vets. It is an indoctrinated reflex for people to say “thank you for your service”. It is so prevalent that a lot of vets, especially younger ones, even find it tiresome.

Another thing is that by treating soldiers and veterans as special, the Capitalist class helps assure their loyalty. Veterans have more social safety nets for this reason as it helps keep them from becoming lumpen-proletariat or otherwise being as exposed to the harsher conditions of Capitalism.

The ruling classes have learned via history that the military is its own sort of faction, and keeping that faction happy is often the difference between staying in power or not. Veterans are included in that, because active duty want to know they’ll be looked after when they finish, plus veterans leave the military with training particularly suited toward removing people from power.

I want to see documentaries and films about all the real efforts put forth to reverse climate change, restore ecologies, return endangered species to their natural habitat, regrow lost vegetation, and overall see everything bloom again.

I want to see news stories about “the last person to be homeless” with fanfare celebrating as they walk into their new beautiful home. I want stories showing truly restorative journeys conquering and overcoming opioid addictions. I want to see the last trailer park get demolished by a backhoe while the camera pans out to show a sign for new good quality public housing condos.

I want to see natural disasters handled with such efficiency there are no deaths or injuries and interviews with people who just lost their homes saying something like, “It is hard but we’ve been given good housing while we rebuild and everyone is safe and together. The emergency workers even found our old photos and they are at the government restoration labs now, and we should get all our memories back in a week! The old regime would never have done this for us.” I want to see stories about the disbandment of last of the world’s nuclear arsenals.

I want to see documentaries about the formation of the “Coalition of Former Colonized Socialist Republics” showing how an incredible pact of socialist nations consisting of former colonized peoples formed and elevated their people above the effects of colonization and can now find fulfilment and happiness in their restored cultures and identities, treated with equal dignity by their peers.

Basically, I want to see the opposite of today’s trends.

I understand. I hate it too. I want it to fall too.

But I want it to fall specifically to the benefit of the next generation. Not to the detriment. Future working class people will have enough on their plate with things like climate change. And even if the revolution is happening right now the vestiges of Capitalism will take several generations to wipe away. During that time the next generations will need every tool at their disposal to fix what we failed to fix in our lifetimes.

This will permanently cripple the future of an entire generation of working class irreparably, even if a Communist revolution takes place in their locale in their lifetime.

This is the owning class placing children on the sacrificial alter. This is the Capitalist class once again fucking over the working class.

This is something to kill Capitalists over, not celebrate.

Gonna go out on a limb here and wager you weren’t saying, “this sucks for the women but it guarantees America’s failure long term so…” when abortion was criminalized recently.

Children are an age group, and singling out a specific group based on biological factors as a sort of sacrifice doesn’t sit well with me.

I have liked a lot of your contributions to various Lemmy posts but this one should be revisited, Comrade.

Amnesty is toothless and spineless, might as well be a jellyfish

Of course libs lost their mind, they support atrocities when it is them doing it, and Amnesty was talking like it is a bad thing, so obviously shame on Amnesty

Of course comrade! I’m relieved you were able to get something from what I said.

I often found myself gathering feelings for anyone that showed me the slightest amount of kindness, even eye contact.

This isn’t abnormal, especially with the effects of COVID as you yourself have experienced. I suspect meeting people will help alleviate this over time, even (or perhaps especially) normal non-romantic interactions in neutral settings. If you are spiritual, a place of worship may help, or for secular options local clubs for activities you are interested in. Book clubs, music lessons or bands, exercise and athletic groups, comedy clubs (just beware of reactionary venues), activist and political circles (get some praxis in too, bonus!), and other similar gatherings will likely resolve some of this. Of course do so safely, but meeting people frequently in a platonic environment will likely alleviate some of this as your mind makes new associations with friendly behavior.

And one of my biggest triggers it is when I see two people arguing or fighting. It’s even worse when it’s two of the same gender, which I feel guilty of because it’s clearly blatant sexualization.

Given your earlier context of having experienced traumas in youth, it sounds like talking with a “trauma aware psychologist” may help. Also, depending the severity of your mental health situation, there are some books that helped me with a variety of issues:

  • “How Not to Kill Yourself” by Set Sykes
  • “Unfuck Your Brain” by Faith G. Harper; PhD LPC-S ACS, and lots of titles
  • “Unfuck Your Intimacy” by Faith G. Harper; PhD LPC-S ACS, and lots of titles
  • “Unfuck Your Anger” by Faith G. Harper; PhD LPC-S ACS, and lots of titles
  • “Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs” by Faith G. Harper; PhD LPC-S ACS, and lots of titles
  • “Coping Skills” by Faith G. Harper; PhD LPC-S ACS, and lots of titles
  • “This is Your Brain on Anxiety” by Faith G. Harper; PhD LPC-S ACS, and lots of titles
  • “This is Your Brain on Depression” by Faith G. Harper; PhD LPC-S ACS, and lots of titles

So you can probably see that I have a particular author who has helped me a lot in understanding my mind and emotions, but I like her vulgarity and crassness (which I won’t be offended if you choose to avoid the books or find they aren’t helpful because of this factor, it just hits well with me is all), her sense of humor, and the way she explains things is pretty down to Earth. Also reading some books like this can help you prepare for meeting psychologists and hopefully learn a few things to look for in a therapist. It did for me, anyway, so I hope you can benefit as well.

Are there books that give knowledge on kinks and how to be healthy with them? I do have a few kinks that have come from childhood trauma. I heard that it’s normal, though I’m not sure.

It is relatively common, yeah, though I can’t say whether it was birthed by trauma or if you found certain things to assist with coping. For example, in middle school I was severely bullied and still have traumas from that, and for me pain became a coping mechanism. I used to punch walls made of durable materials like brick and stone specifically to bloody my hands and engage in flagellation. Was it because I was a masochist that I found those cathartic or might it be that I found that cathartic which made me into a masochist? I’m not sure which direction the relationship flows with that one, and it is the same for many in the kink community I’ve talked to.

As for reading material about kink, I’ll need to wait until I get home to get my titles and authors and all that, especially since right now I am at work and can’t go around searching certain things. I’ll edit this post and ping you in a comment to this post once I’ve updated it though.

Like what should I be looking forward to when discussing sex with a partner?

Biggest thing is to be honest and open while being receptive to your partner’s kinks. And if that partner lists a surprising kink, it is best to not kink shame, even in the extreme cases. If there is a chance there might be a victim if left unaddressed, it might help to encourage a person get help and support them on their journey. If there are victimless ways something can be explored, then it might help to explore those routes. I once allowed a partner to play with me while I slept under the conditions that we are both sober when they did. I trusted that person a lot and we had a good relationship, so I gave consent which they understood could be rescinded at any time. This was after a long period of time developing this relationship and felt safe with this person. This allowed them to explore aspects of certain kinks and I learned a lot about myself as well. That said, consent is very important in a situation like that. I was very specific and the terms of our relationship was in writing in detail, which is common in BDSM relationships. It was document over 20 pages in length with everything we could think of that was okay and not okay, our safe words, how we addressed one another, hard limits, acceptable punishments, what is and is not punishable, how we communicate, etc. The document was constantly being changed, added to, and edited as we explored more and discovered more about each other, ourselves, and kink as a whole. Though the relationship ended due to life circumstances, I hold no regrets about any of it and would change nothing about that time, and have heard from them the same feedback. Our relationship is now platonic and we are comfortable confiding in each other when needed.

If I were you, a few questions I’d ask myself would be: How often is “constant”? Does this frequency get in the way of other activities you enjoy? What do you find arousing and are those things dangerous to others or yourself? Does it make it difficult to engage others in a healthy manner? Is it interfering with your ability to have sexual relations with an existing partner? How does your activity shape your views of others?

How often is “constant”? Does this frequency get in the way of other activities you enjoy?

If you are only releasing once a day when single and not interested in anyone in particular, spending between 10-20 minutes a day (on average) on the activity and it doesn’t prevent you from engaging in other activities, then I would say it probably isn’t causing too much harm to your lifestyle. Also, getting a regular release can help tone down some aggression that might occur due to a buildup of hormones. Just don’t get reliant on it, because that can descend into dependency and interfere with your quality of life.

If it does interfere with daily life activities, then you’ll likely want to find alternative activities to engage in. Working out, meeting people, mental stimulation, even gaming if you are engaged. Go for walks, get and care for a pet, cook a meal, something to get your mind engaged. However, the best way is to go out and meet someone. If you are a minor, try to find ways to hang out with the person (or people if you are all polyamorous, though make sure everyone is aware and consents before trying this, and seek advice from experienced polys engaging in healthy relationships!), or if you are an adult, go on dates. If there isn’t anyone in your current circle who you are interested in and who is interested in you, dating apps are worth a shot. I’ve had a number of very fulfilling relationships and encounters through dating apps, just beware of the ones that are just swipe this way or that or are otherwise just superficial picture boards. Meeting with people and engaging in fulfilling sex with others is probably the among the best ways to curve porn or masturbation addictions.

What do you find arousing and are those things potentially dangerous to others or yourself?

I’m a hardcore fetishist personally, into BDSM and a few other fetishes I won’t specify here. Safety and consent are a huge deal in my relationship as a result of this, since many things can dip into dangerous if we aren’t careful. As for porn, many renditions inaccurately portray BDSM and fetish lifestyles and can lead newcomers to dangerous or unhealthy conclusions about it (while also spreading misconceptions to outsiders as well, increasing discrimination against us).

For most fetishes and kinks there are healthy ways to engage with them, with the obvious exceptions of things like pedophilia. Also, if you find you have inclinations towards those sorts of things, seek help now! You’ll likely want to search for “kink aware psychologists” or those that specialize in those sorts of inclinations, but beware of quacks. There are some that will wave rainbow flags and claim to be kink aware but proceed to shame you or engage in other dangerous practices. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a specific psychologist or you find yourself dreading the experience, change therapists right away. Bad therapists are extremely dangerous!

But if what arouses you can be done safely without exploiting others and you enjoy your kinks and fetishes like I enjoy mine, then you need to find ways to enjoy them in a healthy way. Get creative! Erotica (erotic writing) can be a good source for inspiration and can stimulate the mind far better than a video. Pictures would likely be next, but be careful about the exploitation potentially involved with that just as in videos, which I would resort to last. Sexual games are a mixed bag, but interactive novels are often good (and easy to make your own!).

When it comes to dealing with real people about sex, whether kinky in nature or not, honesty, openness, and consent are absolutely important. And if you have kinks, by the universe do not hide your kinks from your partner ever! If your partner tries to kink shame you after revealing it to them, leave them! Trust me it’ll save a lot of heartache later. And it has been my experience that most people with whom you have an established relationship will be understanding. It may not be their cup o’ tea, but they are usually nice about it. And obviously return the courtesy, regardless of the other person’s kink.

While you are single, take some time to imagine what you would like to explore with future partners and look up anything you can about kinks and fetishes, even if you yourself don’t have any as of now. You might meet someone with a kink and it will help you to already have some understanding about it. Just be careful when doing this if you are trying to reduce how often you masturbate or get arousing thoughts since it may trigger them.

Does it make it difficult to engage others in a healthy manner? Is it interfering with your ability to have sexual relations with an existing partner? How does your activity shape your views of others?

If you are finding that you are viewing your friends in an exploitative or sexual manner when your relationship is platonic, then it may be time to look at how you are engaging with sex and porn, or your relationship with that person. Now, it is normal to develop attractions or occasionally have stray sexual thoughts about friends, but it should be an outlier, a strange event in your mind that you should be able to shake off. But when they are repetitive, they are problematic. That is when it shapes your behaviors around that person.

If you have a partner but are addicted to self sex, it will undoubtedly lower libido and your ability to engage sexually with that person. You will need to sit down and talk about it with that person, and if it can’t be resolved alone then you may need to seek professional help. The same advice applies here regarding your therapists as it did above, with the added caveat that it now involves your partner. Keep communicating and keep them involved. Listen to them, because they may be experiencing red flags with a particular therapist that you are not.

Anyway, I hope this helps. I know not all of what I said will apply to you, and that is okay. But it is good to make sure all bases are covered and I don’t know how many comrades here engage in alternative sexual lifestyles or even have safe words (which you should get some safe words even for “vanilla” sex, and encourage partners to as well. It is just good healthy behavior.). Of course, a lot of my advice is based on personal experience. I am not a professional. Lastly, I tried to make my advice a little more broad because porn and self sex if only a part of a whole, and the whole influences to part just as the part influences the whole.

If you have any questions, let me know! I enjoy talking about this kind of thing.

Very real. People here have to ration their insulin, if they have any at all, and because of that often go into diabetic coma and die. Insulin in the US costs about $400USD/month on the low end. For a while I was paying for one of my friend’s insulin each month because I was in an okay place economically and she was not, and at the time I was paying about $600/month for her’s. She’s since taken over covering her own insulin since her economic situation improved, but most people don’t experience personal economic growth in the US so most people wouldn’t have that option. Also, had she not gotten in a better place economically the arrangement we had would’ve crashed since my own economic situation took a downturn from 2016 until the last few months with a new job.

I remember that, it was on the news for about a day, then everybody forgot about him.

lmao slobber zucchini make me spit out my drink onto my computer

Maybe, that is how I learned of this site. I try to hit the “All” button though to get more content, but tbh I never looked into how federation worked and what the instances even mean on a technological level. I should probably do that since I work in tech and admitting that makes me feel foolish.

I see your point. I guess I am just split between my paranoid side that has go bags and learned Spanish with intent and the loneliness of living in a conservative area with no active parties and orgs, lemmy being my only outlet.

Loneliness won this post I suppose.

Yup. And the new president of South Korea wants to make it longer while reducing the minimum wage.

Edit: Some sauce, feel free to look for more - https://english.hani.co.kr/arti/english_edition/e_national/1048407.html

Lowkey identifying each other?
So many communities use little subtle symbols and stickers and such to help identify each other in public. For instance, those of us in the BDSM/kink community can pretty easily recognize the triskelion (looks kinda like a yin/yang except has three droplet shapes inside the circle instead of two, is also usually black and white) if we see a sticker like that on a laptop. Most normies would have no idea what that means though. Are there ways we can sort of identify each other in public that is subtle and not very obvious? A hammer and sickle sticker or Soviet/Chinese flag (or really any red flag with gold stars that looks remotely Communist) on our laptop would draw a lot of unwanted attention if we are just trying to chill in a cafe or some shit. It'd be nice to know occasionally if I had allies in the same room every now and then, shit's lonely.

He was successful in furthering socialism in Russia and also killed Nazis.

Libs hate socialism. Libs hate Russia. Libs like Nazis.

I hope I get to see the US fall in my lifetime, and I mean truly fall and not just recede into just a smaller version of itself like the “fall” of the British Empire or Spanish Empire. Name change, regime change, land back, socialism, etc.

If the US Empire falls, your plans?
Sorry about the trash title, couldn't think of something more elaborate or appropriate. Also sorry if this isn't the best place to pose this question. So, given the state of world affairs right now, with the decoupling from US currency, soaring prices, impending recession, possible open war, etc., I want to ask fellow US comrades as well as comrades living in other countries like the UK who will be seriously impacted by this: How do you intend to survive the oncoming possible collapse? As we all know, any time there is any sort of crisis, the wealthy are completely unaffected and the burden always falls entirely on working class people. Starvation, homelessness, increased violence, looting, etc. will affect everyone. My household has what would normally be a comfortable income and already this shit is starting to affect us. Or at least that is what the growing empty spaces in our fridge and pantry are telling us, and our electricity bill which doubled since two months ago despite the wattage being about the same. While the collapse of western hegemony will be good for the world at large, collapse doesn't mean disappearance. After all, the Spanish Empire did not suddenly vanish from the world stage just because they lost sea dominance, the United States still might survive as an independent, reactionary, nuclear armed, ultra-conservative, capitalist, shit hole where now the poor are significantly poorer and all those troops stationed overseas are granted law enforcement rights domestically or whatever. And sorry my post is so US-centric, but I can only reasonably speak to local conditions and not as much those of other western nations. I'm interested in what those comrades have to say though for sure! While there are certainly differences in local material conditions there are also a lot of similarities, as well as solutions that can apply to multiple problems. I know (or at least sincerely suspect) that it won't be some world ending apocalypse or whatever doomers will have you believe, but innocent working class people will die. So the question again is: How do you intend to survive the oncoming possible collapse, and possibly even help others?

Gardening and Mutual Aid
So I've been toying with an idea in my head: Setting up a mutual aid group centered around gardening for food and herbs, teaching organic and sustainable gardening techniques, and sharing produce amongst each other and the community. I feel it could reduce working class dependence on the prices set by the top six agro-companies like Tyson or Monsanto and enable a degree of food security for everyone, which is especially important now as people start to see that $100 will only get you enough food to sometimes hide the mesh at the bottom of your cart and will no longer fill it to the brim like it used to when I was a kid. It seems like gardeners always have way too much of some produce or another. I had an aunt a summer ago have piles of home grown tomatoes in her house she was begging us to take with her (which we happily did) because it was just too much, and it was from only about 4-5 plants. So why not create a way to share? What challenges do you all see with creating a functional, organized mutual aid group centered around this idea and how might they be overcome? Have any of you done this? What other thoughts do you have on this idea?

To Comrades not in a party!...
Just curious and getting a feel, but why? I am not in a party myself, because I can't see any active in my area that I like and those I tried getting in touch with never replied. For now I've settled with joining the IWW and hope to organize my workplace at a later date when I am more settled in, but as of now I am a newbie to my industry and to my company. Maybe once I learn organizing techniques and get a network of people I can trust in my area, I've considered organizing a new party locally, but as of now that is more of a interesting thought than something I can actually accomplish in my current situation with my current knowledge base and current network. What about you? What challenges have held you up so far?

Gun Orgs for Marxists
So I am a bit aware of the John Brown Gun Club and Socialist Rifle Association, but I am looking for more information. Do any comrades here know of or are part of any gun groups for Marxists? Any information could be helpful, including about the two I mentioned. I've heard mixed reviews on both and would like it kind of straightened out. Also additional options or what have you would be nice. I am US based.

So, just wondering why the symbol for the Industrial Workers of the World (IWW), a union, was used for this sublemmy (sorry, don't know what else to call it yet). I mean, I'm supportive of the IWW and am a dues paying wobbly myself. I also support cooperatives and hope to one day be a cofounder and worker/resident at one. However I'm not seeing a direct correlation between the IWW, a majority of whose members are not in a cooperative and cooperatives, a majority of which are not unionized with the IWW, if they are unionized in the first place.