CarbonConscious [he/him]

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  • 74 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: September 15th, 2023

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  • First off, I would say to stop thinking about it as being easy or relaxing. It’s an active practice, and it takes a lot of work to get started.

    In most mindfulness practices, you aren’t really trying to just empty your head and think of absolutely nothing the whole time - the point is more that you are intentionally focusing on one thing (your breath, or a candle flame, or the feeling of love or whatever), and when your mind wanders, which it will constantly, the whole practice is about recognizing that and bringing your focus back to where you want it to be. Boom, one rep. Your mind wanders again, you see that and bring it back. Another rep.

    So the idea really is not that you are emptying your mind, but rather that you are training your focus to go where you want it to go, and eventually to stay there better.

    It’s like training to hold a kettle bell at arms length. When you start off its just hard, and you won’t be able to do it long, but by putting the weight back up and trying again, you’re getting stronger in those muscles, and the next time you can do it longer. Similarly, you can really only train so much at once, and you’re going to need to take a break and come back again later. In many ways, that’s the reps that you are doing, which is to come back to the practice again after being away. You do all you can for one day, and then when you come back and sit down the next day, boom that’s a rep.

    It’s a thing that doesn’t really get easier, you just get better at doing it.

    Your focus is a muscle, and you’re probably not used to training on it so specifically. Much like how if you go out and play a sport or just roughhouse with some friends, you’re using your muscles and getting stronger, but you’re not specifically training your muscles, and that type of training will only make you so strong. If you want to be able to bench press 200 lbs or whatever, you’ll almost certainly never be able to do that just by playing a lot of baseball at the park; you need to go to a gym and use the equipment in a very particular way. Similarly, if you want your focus muscle to be able to instantly drill down and focus on a particular thing and hold it without wavering, then you need to sit in zazen and practice directing and holding your focus, and the breath is the perfect target for that - largely because it is truly boring, but it’s always there, and you can feel it, and you will know exactly when you are not focused on it.

    The kinda side benefit of making that focus muscle strong is that you get way better at using it without even trying. You’ll be able to at least be present in the moment with minimal or zero effort as your practice develops, and then down the road you’ll be able to achieve the full meditative state at will, even just standing in line at the grocery store or when you are experiencing something you really want to be present for. It gets hard to turn off, eventually. By that point you’ll know what to do with it, but you will definitely not be the same.



  • I feel like all the magic has flowed down into the smaller regional burns at this point. Those are obviously hit or miss depending on your local scene, and you don’t get quite the same huge community pieces as the big burn, but there’s usually plenty enough to keep you busy just checking everything out for the whole event anyways, let alone a thousand times that if you really get involved with volunteering/organizing. Hell in a previous state I lived in, there were a few smaller local burns and then a bigger state-wide one, so even then you could kinda pick and choose how big and crazy of a thing you wanted to attend/do.

    I need to start looking at local options around here…




  • Maybe! I don’t think it’s so much about blaming people for their own suffering, but more of a recognition that suffering is just another state of being, and in a larger context that being is a part of everything else that is.

    In a broader sense I don’t think that mindfulness practice needs to directly lead to nihilism, but it certainly can without an underpinning of philosophy that can make sense of what’s left after dismissing the subjective as the only truth.

    Much like the monk that remains seated while self-immolating, it is possible to remain mindful and even euphoric in even the most extreme forms of suffering, but that said it would be disgusting to try and proffer that example as a way to dismiss the suffering of others in a current state. “hey that guy could do it, so why don’t you just sit and be one and then you won’t have any problems?” Of course that is rediculous. But it is a practice that can lead to reduced suffering, and it is available to everyone. But it’s much like the tech bros that tell people suffering from poverty to “just learn to code”. Like yeah, it’s an option, and a thing that can help some people, but just because it’s a thing that worked for you doesn’t mean it’s going to fix everyone else’s problems, especially not right here in the now when that suffering is happening.

    Anyways, your last line is real. It’s part of why I got off track of a regular practice years ago - it really did feel weird to be disconnected from people in that way. I felt like Dr Manhattan, being tired of these people and their problems, as goofy as that sounds. I’d like to think that’s not how everyone reacts, maybe that was just my young adult narcissism in action.

    In another way though, it was almost like everyone in the world was on fire, and I had just jumped in a lake - why is everyone out there still running around screaming in pain, and insisting that I was the weird one for being wet?

    There’s probably a balance there somewhere. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this lol, but I appreciate your viewpoint is what I’m trying to say.





  • In all seriousness, it is a little like that! One thing I found during regular mindfulness practice is that you get to this place of all around contentedness, and you start embracing the oneness of all things and the impermanence of subjectivity, and all of a sudden stuff starts to matter a lot less. And like, that’s great when you’re dealing with a lot of anxiety and depression and stress, since it’s a lot less crushing, but also I found that it also killed some of the drive that led to action, as there was no urgent need to escape all of those feelings. It helped to a certain degree though, since that stuff also got in the way just as or more often than it was motivating.

    And in that way, it was also a little alienating from other people, since all of their petty dramas and overblown concerns just felt very petty and overblown, but you could tell that they were truly and deeply invested in them. It was like, do you not realize that none of that (or truly anything) really matters?

    So yeah, in some ways I would call deep mindfulness practice a little bit masturbatory (in a mostly good way). But still, very little to do with cum.


  • They are like, so close to catching on to something here. You can feel so good!

    To quote my favorite Zammuto track:

    Your blood pumps through your heart

    And flows to the other parts of your body

    Let yourself feel your own heart

    Beating and pumping

    You know what a heart looks like

    That good feeling is always there

    You can feel so good

    And it’s true! You can learn how to capture those good feelings that are usually only fleeting in life and harness them, and make them available to yourself at any time. It’s really powerful!

    But it’s really more a trick of like, TM or mindfulness practice. It has very little to do with cum.




  • Mark Rippetoe’s Starting Strength is pretty good. Its a really simple routine of like 5 exercises using the barbell, and it’s all about high intensity low reps. Makes it easy to get into and also makes your workouts pretty short, which is nice. I like to throw in a little cardio before and after too.

    He did a pretty good series of videos with The Art of Manliness (lol) on yt where he coaches a relative beginner through barbell technique. Good info and none of that channels other politics are present in that series.

    It’s also the basis for Stronglifts 5x5, which is a pretty handy app that keeps track of a lot of stuff for you. But it’s pretty simple if you’re ok with just using a notebook too.






  • I’ve had it!

    It’s bad!

    Taste is very strong extract, no actual pepper flavor. That’s on top of a pretty bland chicken noodle. It had some heat, nothing crazy but more than nothing, but without the flavor it just felt completely separate from the soup. Like you just did a shooter of Da Bomb and then ate some (very mid) soup back to back.

    As an aside, I feel like Ghost Pepper is going pretty mainstream right now, and there’s some great stuff out there. Melinda’s Creamy Ghost Pepper Wing Sauce is amaaaaazing, I go through practically a bottle a week; pretty hot for normies but sooo much flavor that I got acclimatized very quickly and it’s pretty much my baseline now. Great for sandwiches/wraps or mixing with other sauces to pump up the heat (I put a bunch in all my Cane’s sauces these days).

    As an aside to the aside, Tobasco is no pepper-head’s favorite, but their Scorpion sauce is actually pretty dang good. Flavor is decent, heat is awesome; very sharp and electric, gives very much the ouchie. Great for soups and chilis.


  • Yeah I feel this. My dreams are usually very realistic and very mundane. It fucka me up because I’ll dream about planning an event or doing a project at work or something, and then I wake up and feel like I have a bunch of stuff on my todo list, but none of it is actually real. It’s not nightmare-bad, but it is goddamn annoying.

    When I was a much more regular user, that mostly went away and it was great. Now I only rarely get to have any and it’s boring-town dream city, basically every night. Looking forward to recreational sales in this area soon.