Beijing, China. Dictator for life Xi Jinping has not appeared in public for over two weeks. I mean, we’ve poured over social media, Youtube and CNN and didn’t see him anywhere.

That means he’s dead, right?

Our mole inside the CCP was unavailable for comment at this time.

But just to drive clicks, we made up this quote:

“Xi is definitely dead. I think. I haven’t seen him either for a while. Could be huge.”

  • @redtea
    link
    41 year ago

    He’s taking a rest while he takes on a higher form.