• @SomeGuy
    link
    211 year ago

    Kind of obvious. Maybe this is just because I grew up in this state of affairs though. People rarely have the money to do anything and there aren’t any free ways to meet people. Even if you do meet people its hard to find time to spend enough to actually deepen that relationship.

    • @Shrike502
      link
      211 year ago

      How fucked is it that we need money to simply spend time with people we like? To socialize? It’s one of our core biological functions!

      • @redtea
        link
        141 year ago

        I used to hate this growing up. We didn’t have much money and most of the time I couldn’t afford the bus to the nearby town, never mind food/drink/cinema ticket/etc. Now I’m glad that was my childhood; it’s part of what makes materialism feel such a natural way of seeing the world.

        And as an adult I’m quite good with not wasting money because I couldn’t care about spending money on pointless commodities as a child. Like, idgaf about branded clothing, the latest gadgets, the top smartphone, a flash car. I learned to not care about these things long before I read Marx.

        Still, it’s torture watching young people in my life struggle to make friends because they feel like they need to spend money to keep friends, but cannot afford it.

      • @201dberg
        link
        131 year ago

        They already charge you to reproduce. It will cost you a good 30k to have a baby in the US. The caps will charge you to breathe if they can find a way.

        • @redtea
          link
          121 year ago

          Would someone still be charged if they just had the baby at home. I know it’s risky, but do some people chance it?

          • Arsen6331 ☭
            link
            131 year ago

            You would still be charged, yes. You need to get a birth certificate and documents, which costs money. Also, most people hire someone experienced to reduce the risk, which also costs money. And, if there are any issues and you take an ambulance to the hospital, the ambulance costs money as well as the hospital.

            • @redtea
              link
              51 year ago

              Really do have to pay to play.

        • @Shrike502
          link
          81 year ago

          Don’t get me started on childbirth

  • @redtea
    link
    211 year ago

    Hostile architecture doesn’t help. It has been harder to stay connected since Covid, especially, because there are very few public spaces and even fewer with some protection from the wind or rain. Of those that are left, they aren’t set up for even moderate social distancing or for control over the airflow.

    Thinking about it, this is true of private-public spaces, too, like bars, cafés, and restaurants. So it’s hard to meet up if you believe there’s a deadly airborne virus about (as I do).

    All this compounds if you’re a caregiver, like a newish mother, single or not, because you have to then find which of the few accessible, safe places allows children, etc. That’s if there’s spare time after going to work, looking after the house, and raising the children.

    And/or things (further) compound for people with mental health issues because society tends not to teach people to consider that e.g. loud noises and bright flashing lights, etc, can be difficult for some people.

  • @CannotSleep420
    link
    171 year ago

    I didn’t even know that having 10 or more close friends was a thing.

  • @201dberg
    link
    161 year ago

    This hits hard. I just basically ended a friendship because I got tired of trying to “deprogram” a buddy. Like I got him to realize there’s no good in capitalism and that it’s the cause of most of the worlds problems but I just got tired of every time I turn around he is going back to all the other reactionary bullshit. Shit like “Stalin was as bad as Hitler,” “communism doesn’t work cause it always gets corrupted,” and other dumb as fuck shit along with being a racist. I thought I could over time deprogram that shit but more and more I just have come to realize it’s a battle I just don’t have the energy for anymore.

    I have only a few close friend left and even that’s debatable. Only one of those I even have in person contact with anymore. Idk how to like, meet people and form new relationships anymore. Work is remote. Don’t have much free time to go socialize nor know what I’d even do. All my hobbies are like at home diy shit. Like I doubt there’s a place people go to like regularly make soap out of recycled animal fats, or ferment sauerkraut, or make diy weights out of concrete or any of the other half dozen weird ass shit I do. lol.

    • Muad'DibberOPMA
      link
      211 year ago

      Same here comrade, I long ago got tired of trying to convert my friends and family that have reactionary tendencies. We can spend hours and get somewhere small, but when they spend all their time consuming reactionary media, its like trying to stop a tidal wave by throwing pebbles at it. IE its very effectively reproducing a conservative ideology, and without removing that process, we get nowhere.

      +1 on the hobbies too… all my hobbies have become things that I can do on my own, because most of my friends have no time to hang out, or live in other cities.

      Capitalism encourages this isolation and alienation in a way that literally goes against human nature, because we need to socialize. Its really sad for all of us.

      • @201dberg
        link
        131 year ago

        Perhaps I should just make a dating profile that’s says I just want some friend to hang out with, make soap, ferment foods, discuss communist propaganda, watch old movies, and drink.

        • @redtea
          link
          91 year ago

          If you make a profile like that, though, you’ll sound cool af and your phone won’t stop pinging.

          • @201dberg
            link
            111 year ago

            “Also I still live at my parents house.”

            Crickets won’t even chirp

            • @redtea
              link
              101 year ago

              I know that feeling. But it’s so common nowadays that many others will be in the same boat…

  • @nervvves
    link
    4
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • Nocturne Dragonite
    link
    -81 year ago

    Cause most of these people are individualistic assholes who only care about themselves. It’s part of the American culture.

    • Lenin enjoyer🏳️‍⚧️
      link
      12
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      highly false. Thats the same kind of bullshit some fascist anti-feminist podcast of bald incel men would say. (Maybe not the observation of amerikkka being individualistic, or individualism being bad, but still.) The shift is because of how capitalism isolates us. And how in Amerikkka how expectations of how social interactions are “supposed to be” shaped effect us. This comment itself is individualistic because you blame people instead of all the larger trends that cause this type of thing. I personally have close friends, but I didnt until 2021 to be honest. Not because I was being an asshole, but because I wasn’t going to make friends by going to Mcdonalds and working.

      (Also not trying to be an asshole here, but this gets me a bit worked up lol.)

      • Nocturne Dragonite
        link
        -51 year ago

        I don’t blame people I definitely said it’s in the culture but ok

        • Lenin enjoyer🏳️‍⚧️
          link
          81 year ago

          Well sure, but the culture isnt being an asshole. What I mean is thats it comes off as condescending of people in specific through wording. Hard to put into words but im sure someone knows what I mean.

          • Nocturne Dragonite
            link
            -31 year ago

            Being an asshole is definitely part of the culture, the whole “I got mine fuck you” mentality, the whole superiority of having power (or capital) over someone else, it’s literally the ultimate goal in this shitty country and it takes a deep level of deprogramming to undo that shit. Or you could look like me and realize this place wasn’t built for you (despite your ancestors literally building everything from the ground up), and see the real ugliness of capitalist culture and how it permeates every fucking facet of our society.

            • Lenin enjoyer🏳️‍⚧️
              link
              81 year ago

              You know what quite true. I suppose what I mean is, that is not at all the reason why people dont have friends.

              • Nocturne Dragonite
                link
                61 year ago

                No it’s not, there are lots of other reasons too, but there’s so little focus in our culture or society about forming lasting friendships with people you like and respect, or hell just being decent people to each other.

                I thought about the way we develop as children, where we’re trained to go to school to prepare us for the capitalist machine, being forced to spend your time with other people that are also forced to be there. Then we’re forced to work for survival and be around other people forced to work for survival. There isn’t a chance for any meaningful relationships to form. That’s not even talking about being a marginalized group because that’s a whole different subject

                • Lenin enjoyer🏳️‍⚧️
                  link
                  7
                  edit-2
                  1 year ago

                  I get what you’re talking about, its just your previous comment is kinda poorly worded. Sorry if I didnt understand it.

                  (I also wouldnt really double down on it. You know? Just clear up what you meant in specific, I guess thats what is resonating wrong with me.)

    • @201dberg
      link
      101 year ago

      Based on the rest of these comments part of your problem here seems to be your wording is very specifically aggressive to, and generalizing of, people. It is putting the blame on the individuals and not the system that has created the culture. Sure, there are a good number of people that are assholes by their own but there are many that are simply victims of the system. It is not all the people’s faults the societal structure imposed upon them by the capitalists has led them to be this way.

      Yes, the culture of America leads to people becoming “individualistic assholes” but I believe it is the fault of the shitty Capitalist system and not the individuals. For instance If you were to instead have said:

      " Cause shitty Capitalists have driven American culture to turn people into individualist assholes that have no idea how to care about anyone else."

      I feel that would have been a more accurate way to describe the situation because I would agree that many people are this way however many more, I would argue, are capable of kindness and generosity if shown there is a better way “to be.”

      • @Sunshiner
        link
        111 year ago

        This might be off topic, and I don’t mean to be that American that wants to victimize themselves, but it really sucks talking to some communists and they talk a ton of shit about us ML-Americans. Like why the hell does me being an American give them the right to shit on me? In fact, I’m an African American, but that’s just some random fact. I know the bullshit in capitalism, I know the bullshit system, I know the reason why the bad Americans are the way they are IS because of the system. And I think that an American breaking out of the system and becoming an ML is pretty great. Yeah there are some ML Americans that say reactionary shit, but it should be easy to distinguish them from unproblematic ML Americans. But oh, to some communists even communist Americans are shit. It’s like some superiority complex they have.

        Sorry I had to rant :( I’m not trying to generalize. I’m only applying this to those who say terrible shit about ML Americans. Like yeah I understand feeling a type of way because ML-Americans live in one of the most imperialist countries in the world, but hey, I’m not the one bombing a 3rd world country, and I’m not the one ignoring it and justifying it. Yeah I suck at geography, and yeah I say dumb shit sometimes, but that’s the time to teach or correct me instead of insulting me. I always try to avoid the “communists” that argue in bad faith and insult others based on where they’re from. It’s seriously annoying.

        • @201dberg
          link
          91 year ago

          I understand that. I am an American as well. It does bother me sometimes. In general though I know when most MLs removed about “western leftists” they aren’t talking about the MLs they are talking about the soc Dems and anarkiddies and such that are still doing shit like supporting western imperialism and shit. Or like the hardcore “MLs” that are so obsessed with theory they loose track of material conditions and go on removed about how “China isn’t socialist enough” etc. Idk how to fully describe it rly but I do agree there are definitely better ways/terms to use to describe these ppl.

    • Muad'DibberOPMA
      link
      6
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      I don’t think you should blame people for the alienation imposed on them by capitalism. The US has almost no social support structures or places to meet friends outside of school or work. Even those that want to are unable because of long working hours and exhaustion.

      • Nocturne Dragonite
        link
        01 year ago

        I’m not blaming the people, the capitalist culture does this to people, I’m just pointing out that’s the reaction

        Man being fucking autistic sucks cause I can’t even really get my point across well smh

        • Muad'DibberOPMA
          link
          31 year ago

          Cause most of these people are individualistic assholes who only care about themselves.

          Are they assholes or aren’t they?

          • Nocturne Dragonite
            link
            41 year ago

            Western culture produces assholes don’t they? Do I have to explain the culture here now?

            • Muad'DibberOPMA
              link
              61 year ago

              The article talks about how many people, young women especially, have lost touch with their close friends during covid, and are suffering from alienation. Why was your first reaction to call them assholes?

              And yes hegemonic capitalist culture can produce and encourages ppl to be individualistic obviously, but its extremely insensitive to victim blame here, especially when it comes to mental well being.

                • Muad'DibberOPMA
                  link
                  5
                  edit-2
                  1 year ago

                  Okay… what? Are they assholes or aren’t they? I warn you that we don’t allow edgelords here, especially of the gamer variety.