I can get to feeling the same way. Donbass has made talking to people who I thought were hardcore materialists very difficult, insinuating that I’m simping for Putin and such. Even got told I was being obsessive over it when an air of potential nuclear holocaust hangs over everything. Sorry, guess I didn’t get the memo that communists shouldn’t keep up-to-date on events that could have catastrophic global impact, or at the very least we should just accept what we see coming out of MSM at face value. 🙄

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Definitely something I’ve extensively dealt with—leading to all sorts of existential turmoil and psychological distress, unfortunately. And really it’s something I’ve only recently come to grips with. It has become clear to me that (to borrow your language a bit) Lovecraftian madness only manifests if one cannot resist the impulse to try to convince others to see the world as one does. For me, it stemmed from the all-too-common and frequently extemporaneous notion that someone learning of some piece of knowledge necessarily results in meaningful change in their behavior that would, by some mechanism, spread to others thereby changing society for the better. But the fact of the matter is, some average USAmerican’s opinion on regime change is as meaningful as their opinion on whether it was appropriate for Peter Jackson to omit Tom Bombadil from the fellowship of the ring—it wasn’t their choice to make in the first place.

Idk if that helps in anyway, but it’s a perspective that positively changed how I interact with the people I care about—some of whom happen to be tragically hopeless but ultimately well-meaning libs. I’m lucky that much of my family and friends are pinkos at the very least, so I’m not sure how to contend with the outright reactionaries should you want or need to do so.