“America has a lot of pent-up aggression that needs a healthy outlet, like war.”
Catraism-Stalinism
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10d

------“I don’t even know if I’m a person with my own thoughts, or if I just think whatever TV and the internet programs me to think. I’m so mired in ideology that even when I attempt to strip away what you might consider the external rhetoric that I’ve inherited, it’s hard to tell if anything truly remains of my being. Given that existential quagmire, I can either spend every day in a quasi-schizophrenic panic, or I can comfort myself with the mass-produced ideal that I’ve been invited to accept, which in this case is going to war with China.”-----

okay which one of you infiltrated the Onion and posted based shit again?

@CamaradaD
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3010d

I had to tell my fiance this is a satire. He said it’s difficult nowadays to tell the difference.

tbf he’s right

@redtea
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2710d

Craig Leonard (Roofer)

“I just think it would be weird if we scapegoated them for a bunch of stuff for like 40 years and then didn’t go to war with them.”

@halfie
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59d

Libs will say the onion denies genocide

@EuthanatosMurderhobo
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10d

Oh, I love this one - “I think the recent successes of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan show that we’re ready to take on a much more formidable opponent.”.

It’s like, “Hey, why not, really? We gotta prove we can, right?”.

The problem, of course, being, some actually think like that.

Someone should tell them what success means

@201dberg
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2510d

"Ever since I heard about nuclear weapons, I’ve always wanted to experience one myself.”

RED Vulpix
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2510d

The onion is no longer satire.

@folaht
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1510d

The onion is self-censored.

@halfie
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59d

And owned by a larger media company unfortunately this one is a banger though

@mylifeforaiur
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If the last couple years have taught me anything, it’s that the Onion is published by people have either a time machine, or a tap on the CIA’s phone lines.

KiG V2
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1510d

Yao Ming do be too tall tbh

@pinkeston
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1710d

A little long but it set up the punchline at the very end so nicely

Dallas Castillo is on to something

/r/GenZedong, but on Lemmygrad!

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