Q: Where is the Gaza Strip? A: Don’t worry about it. It won’t exist by the end of the week.
Q: How has the media approached the conflict? A: Swiftly and irresponsibly.
Q: How many people have died? A: That depends on whether you count Palestinian deaths as well.
Q: Am I allowed to be sad for all of the victims? A: Absolutely not. You have to pick a side.
Q: What’s been the international response? A: People across the world have contributed an outpouring of infographics.
Q: How has the United States responded? A: U.S. leaders reminded Americans that their nation has a responsibility to be a frothing worshipper at the altar of death.
Q: How is Israel working to avoid civilian casualties? A: Civilians in Gaza are being given the opportunity to be driven out of their homeland forever.
Q: Where can I learn more? A: This is a logistically and morally complex situation involving decades of recent history and thousands of years of context, so try your cousin’s Instagram stories.
Q: What lessons should I take from this conflict? A: That dehumanization begets dehumanization, terror begets terror, and none of us will be free until all of us are free; or, you know, that it might be easier to just look away.
I’ll be honest it doesn’t read like that to me. But it’s definitely possible that I could be wrong. It is just the baggage that comes with sarcasm, irony and satire.
the onion is a satirical news website, almost every article is like this