Now with today’s age where almost everything is sexualized, and everywhere you look there’s sexual implications on it. As a lonely teenager myself going through the “horny phase.” Things are not going good for me. How do you deal with impure thoughts? (No religion stuff plz lol)
Understand, first of all, that capitalist culture deals with the natural human desire for community by reframing it as sexual. The result is that, because of our constant social conditioning through media, daily conversations, etc., we tend to have a whole lot of “extra” horniness on top of our natural sexuality. My advice is to tell yourself, whenever you get unwanted sexual thoughts, that indulging won’t satisfy you, and that what you really want is to go out and build something with other people, or engage in some other form of nonsexual collective action. Then, ideally, go out and do a group activity. Now of course that isn’t always possible; as a teen I was isolated as well, and anyway, none of us are going to be asked to join a construction shock brigade and build the Bratsk Hydroelectric Plant anytime soon. So instead, do some mental and physical activity, like exercising or learning electronics, that will prepare you to better serve the people. Generally, make a habit of studying and reading to improve your mind. “Study perfects the revolutionary; and as there can be no perfect revolutionary, neither can there be any end of studying and learning” – Kim Jong-Un. Don’t just read politics; also be conversant with great literature and philosophy. All this help you reframe sexuality in a healthier way. Eventually, you’ll be able to distinguish real sexual desire from fake, superadded sexual desire that comes from capitalist conditioning. And the good thing is, real sexual desire is much easier to control: like real hunger vs. a craving for junk food.
I’d actually go against the advice of several comrades here and recommend that you not do things like erotic journaling. Right now especially, this will tend mostly to exacerbate the problem. Avoid porn; some people argue that porn isn’t inherently anti-Marxist (I think they’re wrong), but at the very least any porn you find is going to be capitalist, consumerist propaganda, that isn’t doing your brain or your sexuality any favors. Another thing often overlooked: limit your internet usage (I say on the internet), and try not to go on when you’re feeling horny. The whole internet is pornographic in the sense that it’s built on instant gratification without work.
Finally – avoid resentful thinking about the people you’re sexually attracted to. (This can be especially a problem for straight dudes). Yes, a lot of people in capitalist society do have unhealthy attitudes about sex, and some people will play games to drive you crazy. But remember, a lot of this is because they’re victims too. As Plato said, “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Mao put it more succinctly: “love the people.” Your job is to improve yourself so you can help make things better for everyone else, and you can’t do it if you’re full of resentment.
I absolutely love this response! When you mentioned that you were isolated when you was a teen, I felt connected and relatable. It’s amazing getting advice from someone who went through most of the things I’m going through. Thank you comrade! :))
I agree with you in the first point. I feel like capitalist culture tries to make a human’s need for communication, feeling of belong, and company from friends, into something sexual. I noticed the term “friends with benefits” have been on the rise. Like since when we decided to look at friends as potential sex buddies? I’m not against it, but something is fishy with its popularity…
Before I became Marxist, the desire to study was at zero. I’m still trying to find the passion in it. I did love reading philosophy and literature. I think American schools teach children to hate reading by making them read materials that are not interesting. I’m slowly building up my desire to read again. The only thing I had passion to read in was self-help. I think I’ll start there and slowly go up to theory itself. I’m currently a baby Marxist, and I just can’t get the motivation to read theory. Well, we all start from somewhere :')) I’m sure after reading more self-help books, I’ll grow the love to read and move onto theory. After all, knowledge is power! :D
This actually helped me think of things in a different way. Could you elaborate more on this? What would be a real sexual desire example, and what would be a fake desire?
Honestly, it’s hard to give concrete examples, because these things differ so much from person to person. It’s more a feeling/mindset. If sex seems like the only thing that gives life meaning, and nothing else is interesting – in other words, if you regularly go through the day just waiting for the next sexual high – that’s usually not sexual desire as such, but a symptom of some underlying issue that needs to be resolved. Genuine sexual desire, on the other hand, tends to come and go. When you feel it, you want release, but you’re willing to wait for it, and you can recognize the desire as a kind of background “energy” that adds spice to your life rather than sapping it. It’s the difference between chowing down on a bowl of cheetos, and waiting for a fine steak or homemade pizza that’s cooking (and smelling delicious) in the other room.
I would actually recommend that you not spend too much time reading theory right now. Like you said, it’s something that has to be worked up to. Good self-help books can be very useful. But also, don’t discount the value of fiction; remember, people like Lenin came out of an entire cultural matrix, which is to some extent reflected in the way they wrote. Many Russian short stories from the late 19th and early 20th are quite readable and engaging, plus they show humanity in the darkest places: my recommendations right off are The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy and Birth of a Man by Maxim Gorki, the founder of socialist realism in literature. Stay away from Tolstoy’s The Kreutzer Sonata, though (it appears in a lot of reading lists, but if you are struggling with sexuality, it will absolutely mess you up).
That’s a good way to think about it! I might need to add that in my life as a principle, definitely saving this comment!
Thank you for the recommendations! Adding them to my “to-read list” and will start on them soon!
What is the last one about?
The Kreutzer Sonata? It’s a pretty morbid story about a member of the Russian gentry who kills his wife. He claims absolute guilt at the trial, but is acquitted anyway. Tolstoy’s point is that the hypocrisy of the upper class, and the subjugation of women, leads to all sorts of unnatural crimes, but it’s expressed in a way which is… not particularly helpful.
Holy cow that’s a hella dark story…