Now with today’s age where almost everything is sexualized, and everywhere you look there’s sexual implications on it. As a lonely teenager myself going through the “horny phase.” Things are not going good for me. How do you deal with impure thoughts? (No religion stuff plz lol)
Well, try not to think of thoughts as pure or impure. This is a puritanical, Christian idea. The East has a much better tradition dealing with the subconscious.
There is no such thing as a wrong thought. Your brain makes images from your subconscious and you see that subconscious replayed as thoughts, you then choose an emotional response to these thoughts and then you decide on the action that derives from the emotion.
The best way to get a hold of your emotional reaction to your thoughts is to notice that a thought is not an action. Hence, intrusive thoughts don’t lead to murder or whatever. So become more self-aware, and then when you notice a pattern of thought and you can notice what kinds of thoughts trigger these emotions, you can begin to make a rational and conscious decision to settle down, but you must be able to choose that. You can always calm yourself(even just a bit) if you are capable of meditating.
Another point: simplify your conscious experience. In the west, it is common to relate complexity with sophistication or intelligence. Hence, “German engineering!”
No. Complexity for the sake of complexity is a waste of energy and time.
Rely on your imagination. You don’t need to look at porn to get off. What do you think your grandpa or great grandpa jerked off to! Probs a pinup girl, lol. Hit on someone you haven’t gone up to, draw a dirty picture, lift weights, or write instead of looking at porn. This horniness is really an internal subconscious drive to create. See, you are mistaking impure thoughts for a youthful creative energy. It must be expended or expressed somehow. Or it will lash out in self-loathing and unhealthy obsession. Take charge of your life and make the decision of what you want to create.
Read the Tao te Ching. As you read it, think about how it relates to your thought patterns.
Hope this helps.
Thank you! This really helped me change perspective on things! I heard of “Tao te Ching” but never finished reading it. This reply motivated me to get back into it. At one point in my life I did use writing to get sexual thoughts out of my head, but they kept on coming back. I would often find a sexual thought and write it down then delete it. I don’t know why I stopped this. I always thought this act was making it worse.
In the easypeasy book I read a little about, they mentioned that imagination might make it worse. And honestly masturbation is boring without imagination. However, I do agree with this point!
Would I need to find a way to channel this energy into something better? Everytime I think of this feeling as something else, it creates an anxious feeling…
Where’d you learn this? I’ve been searching for Eastern and other parts of the world thinking of certain things like this because I feel that the Western way of thinking is messed up.
THATS SO EASY FOR YOU TO SAY 😭 ugh thinking about hitting on my crush is making me freak out a bit 😢 especially because she’s most likely straight 😔
damn i hate being a teenager
Yeah, it is tough. I had tough teenage years. I don’t miss it, lol. It’s probably relatively normal to go through that.
As far as learning about simplicity; I derive it from most of the texts from Lao Tzu and the Guangzhou and even Sun Tzu. It’s mostly implied in their texts, sometimes directly said.
Haha, talking to crushes can be difficult! At first. There are so many people, that rejection is more about experiencing it in order to get used to it. Rejection is just part of life. We can suffer deeply, or learn to move on. It sucks getting rejected or even dealing with the possibility. Sometimes, talking to your crush reveals their human(flawed) aspects. If they’re rude, or mean, selfish, harsh. But if you can, just think about that nervousness as excitement. You will look back and see that it’s actually so cool that you were learning all this stuff, it’s all brand new to you. That comes with its draw backs fo sho, but you’re just learning! It’s okay to make mistakes 👍
Yeah, definitely take it or leave it, I’m just sharing what helped me :)
Thank you! This response has inspired me. Rejection is apart of the process, and I shouldn’t avoid it. I should take it as a learning experiences. Thank you for sharing the authors, I think I read a little of Lao Tzu, which was the art of war, correct me if I’m wrong.
I have talked to an old crush before, and she was the opposite of what I expected, thus destroying all my feelings, we became friends though, only for a short time because I won’t see her again pretty much :')). Also talked to another crush and didn’t really like her personality. I feel that my crushes are based on physical attraction, and I might have false ideas in my head of that person, which keeps my crushes going. I don’t know my crush, but yet I still have strong feelings for her. I feel that if I talk to her I might just be able to get rid of them.
Yes! It was Sun Tzu, art of war :)
Just don’t forget to feel what you are feeling as fully and as consciously as possible. The point is to let the emotions wash over you like waves. They’re not something to resist, but fleeting moments, since we lack their complete control, but we can decide how we react. Instead of reacting it is better to anticipate and be prepared for those intense emotions to make the healthiest decision.
You can make the decision if you do something about your crush. It’s okay if you decide not to pursue, but if you don’t pursue the crush, move on. Otherwise, you’re literally torturing yourself in limbo. Don’t torture yourself. You deserve peace of mind :) So, get over her, if you wish. But that means you avoid the thought and the sight of her as much as you realistically can. Give yourself the space to get over her, mourn the end of your crush.
Notice, that your strong feelings toward her cannot be love. Love takes a long time, and love is deep commitment. A crush may be based around many things. It may be lust, or naive infatuation, maybe she’s just really attractive to you. That’s all fine, but be aware of it. What is the depth of this crush? My standard is that a 10/10 physical looks is only 5/10 as dating material. I want nothing to do with someone that’s only superficial.
Ah! Sun Tzu! How did I miss that 😅
That’s a great way to think about it! I will definitely give this a try. Thank you comrade! :))
This is my biggest goal. I just feel that the crush is pointless. You’re right, there’s no use in pursuing it. I am basically torturing myself and feeding delusions in my head with romantic songs making it worse. This message has motivated and inspired me. I do have the power over my mind, and I shouldn’t let feelings control me. I’ll try to avoid her sight.
Well said! I prefer personality as a priority over looks. Looks aren’t nothing if there’s no personality. I’ve seen people that were 10s and seemed uninteresting to me because of personality. I’m assuming my feelings for her might be naive infatuation combined with her being attractive. She’s quite average but somehow she gives a “aura.” Maybe I’m being delusional. Someone has given me an article on spiritual bypassing. Might be letting spirituality get to my head.
Haha, finding someone attractive sometimes doesn’t have that much rationality. I’m glad you can find some use in my words. These are the things I wish someone had told me when I was younger.
Don’t think of it as ‘hitting on’ her, rather think of it as talking to her.
If you have to go out of your way to find things to talk about, that might feel awks but it’s fine. She’ll notice it too, that you’re going out of your way. It’s a respectful way to show interest.
I found that changing your mindset is extremely helpful. Instead of thinking “wow i would love to hold her hand, watch the sunset, then kiss her” I would think “I should go up to her with the intentions of being friends. Maybe we could become best friends, and maybe go places together and have fun!!” It helps me become more confident, but I still can’t bring myself to. She hangs around a crowd I don’t particularly like… It wouldn’t work out unless we’re friends in secret.