Now with today’s age where almost everything is sexualized, and everywhere you look there’s sexual implications on it. As a lonely teenager myself going through the “horny phase.” Things are not going good for me. How do you deal with impure thoughts? (No religion stuff plz lol)
When I was having trouble with porn I had a hard time because like you said,everything today is sexualized. Anyway here are some concrete actions I took to help me get rid of it:
Try to identify which moments and what is “triggering” you and get rid of it.
Now, there is nothing wrong with sex/masturbation, so all I’ve said here applies mostly to porn. If you feel like you’re having problems w masturbation you can use all this for it too, but like I said, unless youre doing it too much (its starting to affect other parts of your life), there is nothing wrong with it.
I saw someone down there recomending hentai, I’d advise against though. Sure no real women are exploited like in other types of porn but normaly this kind of pornography is full of things like (Content warning here) pedophilia, rape and violence in a more general way). Even if there are no such things, women are still objectified and portrayed as mere sex objects. And, of course, its just as bad for you as the other kinds of porn. A friend of mine once even argued that - for you - it might be even worse since you’re “tying up” your sexual preferences to something that is not real, so when ypu finally have the chance to have a real experience, you may not get aroused enough. Tl Dr dont use porn
As for the lonely teenager part, I’ve been there and I had a lot of difficulty talking to people. I hope you can find someone nice and be happy, but keep in mind that relationships are not “meant to be” like in movies, they are built. Built on trust, friend ship and respect. Be nice to people and engage with them honestly. I know this is kinda common sense so here is an actual tip on how to talk to someone you’re interested:
Avoid using yes/no questions. When speaking to the person, make questions that they CAN’T anwser with just one word. This keeps the conversation flowing.
Also, engage with what the person is saying, be interested. Its going to be easier to make “good” questions.
You’re probably right about the hentai. I would argue that it’s just as easy to find the same sick fetishes being fulfilled in porn, though, if not technically outright as illegal as what is being portrayed in some hentai – I also would not say it is “usually” full of those things, although a lot of it is, like porn. Stay away from sick shit generally or you’ll be sliding down a path it’ll be difficult to escape from. The attraction that can develop to inanimate objects (drawings) over real people and the ramifications that can have on sex drive I think is a more compelling argument against hentai.
My main rec is mostly just to use more imagination. If art or dirty fanfic or whatever can help stimulate that, that’s far better than watching porn imo, both for the sake of not contributing to exploitation and for one’s own mental well-being.
Yeah I just think we should drop porn enteirely
For sure, I think porn generally is a cultural sickness. I think for a lot of us in the “west” and western-internet-hegemonic areas we might get hooked on it early because of the pervasiveness of it and lack of control (I was like 11 or 12 when I was first introduced to it), all my recs are just from my experience ofc.
Yeah, and children are having their first contact with porn earlier than ever
I watched my first porn clip when I was around 7, and got hooked to it when I was around nine. Guess where the porn was on? YouTube.
I’ve noticed that people in the west have been promoting it, even though it was considered bad a while ago, now all of a sudden it’s okay and “healthy?” I swear they’re fishy
I would highly recommend the Probably Canceled podcast if you’re interested in the push for “sex work acceptance” and pornography pushing etc. Marxist-Feminist and just based as hell. The term “sex work” comes from a neoliberal feminist who decided to try prostitution because she thought it would be fun, which for her apparently it was. For the vast vast majority, it isn’t. I’d also recommend the documentary Hot Girls Wanted on Netflix, it completely destroys the narrative that “amateur” porn is any better.
I apologize for recommending Hentai down below, it can have similar or different but still negative mental effects as porn. I do not think that it is all as heinous as it is being made out to be, as it’s just as simple to find heinous real-person pornography and not all hentai is disgusting pedo/zoophile shit. I utilized it (as in, the non-heinous shit) to distance myself from the effect of over-sexualizing people I knew irl and it worked for that pretty well, but probably had other negative effects like object-fetishization etc.
Thank you so much for recommending “Hot Girls Wanted!” I’ve yet to see it, but your description got me extremely interested. I always watched amateur from well known amateur channels, so I never felt guilty about watching women struggling in porn because I never watched “professional” porn. I thought amateur was free of that exploitation of women. I assume that this documentary might change that viewpoint. I can’t wait to see it!
You’re fine! I won’t demonize you for it :)) We all make mistakes, and the only forgiveness to it is when you learn and overcome it! I thought about it myself and saw what you meant by recommending hentai, there is some genres that aren’t fucked up as the other ones. However in the end it’s no better than actual porn. At least you changed your mind on that stand point, and I respect you for that, comrade!! :D
Btw what’s object fetishization? Would that include fetishizing unreal characters such as anime characters?
Thanks man! This info is really helpful. Especially the sleeping early part. I also do it at night, so doing this would cut free time.
I can’t believe someone would recommend Hentai. I once checked it out and was disgusted by the amount of plots in those clips. It’s always rape, pedophilia, and all of that other disgusting shit. I steered clear from it.
Seems like I’m at that point. I kinda fell into the rabbit hole. I’m now climbing out of that.
Good luck man 👊
Thank you comrade! :))
That’s a great point about deleting social media. I did away with FB/Twitter/Insta+ more (I basically just use snap to keep up w a girl I talk to) and I noticed that my peers were like 80% less sexualized. A lot of what’s presented to you on social media is an exaggeration of themselves, or an overly sexual version of themselves to get attention, and that attention isn’t even a bad thing to seek, people have their own reasons for why they may feel ignored or not interacted with enough in their daily life, so social media is an easy way to put a bandage on that insecurity. But it’s not for me and I feel that it has too much of an effect on me, so I did away with it because it was a net negative.
For real though, WHY DO PEOPLE SEEK SO MUCH ATTENTION? Your reply is driving me crazy lol.
I dont know if I have a satisfying awnser for it. My guess is that being recognized by your community is obviously important but in our neoliberal hellhole we call society there is no such thing as communities, so people seek atention in many different ways. With the rise of social networks not only people finally had a plataform to do so but they are encoraged to, because this is these companies only way to profit. In order to get attention these people need to “master” the algorithims, which essentially is to learn how to sell their image. The only (or the most proeminent way) in our neoliberal world to feel validated as a person/to be recognized is to turn yourself in a commodity. This is similar to the way incels see relationships - not something that is built with another person but as a trade, where you can exchange “being nice” for sex.
If we couple this together with the fact sex is widely used in marketing because it works, it appeals to something “visceral” within us, what we have is people objectifying theirselves as a way to be valued, which leads to social medias having a high amount of “sexual” content.
That’s just a guess though, I feel like something is off and I can’t point it out
Well, I don’t want to repeat myself, but I genuinely think part of it comes from not being interacted with on a human emotional level enough. It’s less inherently linked to capitalism more of a subtle aspect. Capitalism doesn’t give us enough free time to communicate through our insecurities properly and capitalism even plays an active role in creating or worsening your insecurities to sell solutions/ aka products to you. But it happens in socialist society too. You’ll see men and women flaunting, not because of capitalist institutions, but because no place is perfect, there are always people who don’t receive the human contact that is deserved(and that applies to conventionally attractive people too, they are fetishized, treated like they are on a different social tier). So I think personally most of the intense sexualization of everything is most certainly a byproduct of capitalism that, like you mentioned, makes markets of everything and uses visceral emotions to get to their market base, but it mostly comes from insecurity. Some people are very sexual and don’t seem insecure though, those are probably the best kind of sexual people because I feel like they gratify themselves rather than a preconceived notion of themselves and how they should act according to society
That makes sense. Besides the societies and systems, it’s also has a lot to do with the human themselves internally. You mentioned it happens in socialist societies, which is true. I personally feel that it’s more common in capitalist societies than socialist.
Bottom line, I agree when you say that it’s not fully because of capitalism, though I do think that this issue is more common in capitalist structures.
Yeah I agree, this is just something I was thinking about because of your awnser and wanted to share. Point is not that people feel lonely, this is normal in any society like you said, but more how do they act because of this in a capitalist society and how their response would be linked to the dominant ideology
This is definitely it! I also find myself seeking attention, currently am getting over this. When I was an liberal in my early teen days, this desire for attention was strong. Ever since I became ML that desire somehow went away. Must be my change in ideologies. Especially the view on money power and fame. I don’t have greed or care for a whole load of cash anymore.
Could you tell me more about this? Your reply was very interesting, I’d love to learn more of this.
I wish I could, this is just something I was thinking because of the other comrade awnser and I wanted to share. But the fact that when you “chabged ideologies” thibgs got a bit easier makes me think there is a link here somewhere
Do you have any ideas?
Ideas? Like… my current ideologies or any idea on the link between the two?
the link
My story of the link between the two
spoiler
While suffering in liberal indoctrination, I would worry about attention, feel bad about my social media status, and what others thought of me. I thought I would “need more money” to look prettier. The breaking point for me was the sexual mindset. I noticed in capitalist culture, sexualization is everywhere, and they associate the human’s need for a community as something sexual. I also noticed “friends with benefits” becoming popular. All of a sudden everyone wants to fuck their friends lol.
There was something fishy with this. As a WOC, the standard for black women was so exploitative. They expect us to look a certain way in order to be some “beautiful black queen/goddess.” I knew I couldn’t achieve that coz I didn’t have that kind of money. I would feel bad about myself for not having that “black magic.” After converting to Marxism, that desire went away completely. I noticed those standards were apart of fetishizing black women.
This community has beliefs I can get behind. In fact, I believed in them all along. I just kept them down while being a liberal because I was afraid of being “cancelled” and pushed away. (The desire to belong was being attacked while in that community.) Whew being a liberal was the most miserable time in my life. I think the reason I thought I was a liberal was because I thought that liberals were the only people that “cared” about POC and LGBTQ+ rights. Boy I was wrong! Faced so much racism and homophobia from those fuckers.
Wanting to belong while being in the capitalist system is not fun. You will want to change yourself in order to belong. Capitalist culture is impossible to fit in, except for rich people who exploit others. Still, some people in the lower class want to fit in. They go extreme lengths to achieve this. (ex: Killing their own family members for insurance money.) That’s why a lot of low class people think that they should become wealthy" in order to escape oppression.
The attractive standard in liberal and ML perspectives are so different. The Marxist perspective of attractiveness is realistic, meanwhile the capitalist culture is very unrealistic. They expect children to have an hourglass shape, and expect you to have silky smooth skin at 75 y/o. The makeup style in their standards is so damn expensive! However, I feel like this community has more realistic attractive standards. I noticed myself being attractive to “average women” more than “pretty 10/10” women. I think personality matters over looks in this community, which gives some type of comfort and more confidence in myself.
People here are actually caring, they stand firm on their beliefs, and don’t change them whenever their favorite politician says so. They acknowledge the blunders a communist figure may have had and overcome it instead of making excuses for it. Communists aren’t phony, and are truly good people.
Also, you become more attractive being a ML. 😉 I personally think it’s because in this community, Marxists promote self-love and have ideologies that include self love and not changing yourself to fit the status quo. I noticed socialist figures such as Fred Hampton were very badass, and he didn’t care what others thought of him. He didn’t change his personality to be able to shake a corrupt politicians hand and be sexualized everywhere he goes. He didn’t change his word to prevent being “cancelled.” That man is inspiring.
Castro, Guevara, Stalin, Lenin, and others were mighty handsome too 😍
I might be wrong, I don’t know. Personally I can’t make a real idea of the link, it’s kind of a feeling, hard to explain properly. It’s like… A natural change in mindset without even thinking about it. You can compare your mindset between the present and past, but can’t make an accurate description of it.
I think you made a good job explaining it. Capitalism is deteriorating every sphere of our lifes
Also fuck yeah Fred Hampton is indeed badass and one of the main people to radicalize me.